Its a familiar feeling. All too familiar. Yet different; foreign. Its the same tightening walls, but with new flowers beyond the window. Same routine of running towards the Cross when anxiety encircles, but something...something different.
The warm of teriyaki and egg sloshing in my mouth, the thought of Reims, Hunchback and his implications, tuna & croissant, ginger tea,Stratford and taste of treasured freedom all comfort me like water in hell's fires. All these candies cannot surpass the ultimate Peace that eminates from Him. These little sugar granules just lead me finally to the ultimate sweetness of His comfort.
Like jazz, in the bittersweet blues of life.
Uncle T
8 May 2007
1 May 2007
Veggie Love; Cabbage, Pumkin... 5:29 pm
from Marvell's "To His Coy Mistress"
Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, Lady, were no crime.
We would sit down and think which way
To walk and pass our long love's day.
Thou by the Indian Ganges' side
Shouldst rubies find: I by the tide
Of Humber would complain. I would
Love you ten years before the Flood,
And you should, if you please, refuse
Till the conversion of the Jews.
My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires, and more slow;
An hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyes and on thy forehead gaze;
Two hundred to adore each breast;
But thirty thousand to the rest;
An age at least to every part,
And the last age should show your heart;
For, Lady, you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate...
"My veggie love doth
Grow as onions and gingers
Nurture in thy cabinet
Having stayed there, overdue for
Cooking.
Just growing."
- uncle t
Uncle T
Hunchback... 5:22 am
HEAVEN'S LIGHT
Quasimodo
So many times out hereI've watched a happy pair
Of lovers walking in the night
They had a kind of glow around them
It almost looked like heaven's light
I knew I'd never know
That warm and loving glow
Though I might wish with all my might
No face as hideous as my face
Was ever meant for heaven's light
But suddenly an angel has smiled at me
And kissed my cheek without a trace of fright
I dare to dream that she
Might even care for me
And as I ring these bells tonight
My cold dark tower seems so bright
I swear it must be heaven's light
Uncle T
Quasimodo
So many times out hereI've watched a happy pair
Of lovers walking in the night
They had a kind of glow around them
It almost looked like heaven's light
I knew I'd never know
That warm and loving glow
Though I might wish with all my might
No face as hideous as my face
Was ever meant for heaven's light
But suddenly an angel has smiled at me
And kissed my cheek without a trace of fright
I dare to dream that she
Might even care for me
And as I ring these bells tonight
My cold dark tower seems so bright
I swear it must be heaven's light
Uncle T
30 Apr 2007
Some more of Spring...and more to come 9:29 pm
"Who is the monster and who is the man?...Sing the bells of Notre Dame"
Whilst uncle t is in the UK, the going ons in Singapore...
Ian and his bedfellow. So much for taste.
Fiona visiting UK; In Camden! Nice place.
He stumble through the door, having slept only 4 hours. He tries to wear his splippers as he does so. His hand reaches forward to find stability from the wall. But as his forearm brushes against the wall, the protruding alien, in all its silverness in paint disguise, digs into his skin. Momentum only tugs at the skin, drawing a line that slowly turns scarlet. That is the start of the day for some.
Uncle T
27 Apr 2007
The realm of the complex: Humans 7:05 pm
We have been there all this time. Did you not notice? You play beneath our shade; did you not look up at our foliage? Amidst our bosom you laughed; did you not realise that we cleansed your air?
Now, you suddenly notice us. You notice the cracks, the localised decay, the rare infestation at the roots. You walk up closer, and point that once-limp finger with accusations. You forgot about the green, you forgot about the shade. No. You never did notice it before. But you are good at pointing at the cracks and chinks, are you not?
But is that not the way of the human jungle? As much as we worked tirelessly, you would not notice. The good is dull, the bad is bright. As much as we feel dismayed at this sad reality, I realise that, possibly, that is the way it generally works around here. Yes, here in the human forest.
I guess I will continue to work at what I do. I know that I clean the air because I believe that clean air is better than unclean air; I provide shade because I believe that death by scorching is bad. Moral high ground you say. Well, at the very least, its a firm ground beneath me.
If you decide I am replaceable by an air-purifier, so let it be so. Ultimately, you are the one with the axe; I am the one made of wood.
"The Human Jungle" by ConfusedUncle
Uncle T
Now, you suddenly notice us. You notice the cracks, the localised decay, the rare infestation at the roots. You walk up closer, and point that once-limp finger with accusations. You forgot about the green, you forgot about the shade. No. You never did notice it before. But you are good at pointing at the cracks and chinks, are you not?
But is that not the way of the human jungle? As much as we worked tirelessly, you would not notice. The good is dull, the bad is bright. As much as we feel dismayed at this sad reality, I realise that, possibly, that is the way it generally works around here. Yes, here in the human forest.
I guess I will continue to work at what I do. I know that I clean the air because I believe that clean air is better than unclean air; I provide shade because I believe that death by scorching is bad. Moral high ground you say. Well, at the very least, its a firm ground beneath me.
If you decide I am replaceable by an air-purifier, so let it be so. Ultimately, you are the one with the axe; I am the one made of wood.
"The Human Jungle" by ConfusedUncle
Uncle T
25 Apr 2007
When the world sleeps... 11:34 am
Sun has not been very sympathetic as the new term began. The poor weather since school reopened seemed aligned with the ominous stars of a trying term ahead; the daffodils are crisping with Springs further progress, with dandelions usurping its former territories. Squirrels are reclaiming their lands, and so are the fresh leaves; no longer hidding in buds, flowers are bursting out everywhere; so are the bugs.
The birds are singing their regular songs, as First Light struggles past overnight overcast clouds, past creepers that are slowly regainig their green shade. I am about to head to bed.
The Wars begin. The greatest battle is set to be Within. Be prepared. To engage, to confront, to strategise, to be disciplined, to focus. Its survival.
"Makan boleh make aku life senang sedikit (broken Melayu)"- uncle t
Uncle T
The birds are singing their regular songs, as First Light struggles past overnight overcast clouds, past creepers that are slowly regainig their green shade. I am about to head to bed.
The Wars begin. The greatest battle is set to be Within. Be prepared. To engage, to confront, to strategise, to be disciplined, to focus. Its survival.
"Makan boleh make aku life senang sedikit (broken Melayu)"- uncle t
Uncle T
22 Apr 2007
Democracy... 9:34 am
Demoracy, hailed as the pinnacle to strive towards in the Western world. But is it a double-edged sword?
Uncle T
Uncle T
How Blessed We Are... 9:28 am
How blessed we are...
to go through shit times to know better times,
to have friends there even when you don't think you need them,
to take for granted the present that in the past you would have died for,
to have the prospects ahead that others may not,
to have friends to comfort and in so doing find solutions for yourself,
to have what you have and don't even think twice of having,
to have moments of solitude that you thought lonely but became breeding grounds for wisdom,
to be even here, alive today, with many bombed innocently elsewhere,
to have come so far today, with what you had,
to have had nothing more, nothing less,
to be simply you. to be simply, me.
Say that little thanks today. To Him, to you, to them.
Say it, before it gets too hard to say.
"Who you are today, is God's gift to you. Who you become, is your gift to God", as a wise friend once said
Thank you.
Uncle T
to go through shit times to know better times,
to have friends there even when you don't think you need them,
to take for granted the present that in the past you would have died for,
to have the prospects ahead that others may not,
to have friends to comfort and in so doing find solutions for yourself,
to have what you have and don't even think twice of having,
to have moments of solitude that you thought lonely but became breeding grounds for wisdom,
to be even here, alive today, with many bombed innocently elsewhere,
to have come so far today, with what you had,
to have had nothing more, nothing less,
to be simply you. to be simply, me.
Say that little thanks today. To Him, to you, to them.
Say it, before it gets too hard to say.
"Who you are today, is God's gift to you. Who you become, is your gift to God", as a wise friend once said
Thank you.
Uncle T
19 Apr 2007
Chugging Along 6:33 am
Army did take some sting out of the bite; some wheel out of the car. There has that initial inertia to overcome, one that takes not only will, but simply, time. Yet, Time is less kind than it wants to. It cannot wait. So you are caught. But if you don't wriggle free, you are naught. One never takes in enough of the present. Beauty seems to come alive more vivid in memories. But by then, regret and guilt birth into nostalgia and longing. Longing for what we have now. Back to work. On the lonely country road. No one. Wait...there! The squirrel, full of life, escaping the jealous attacks of the magpie. Embodies vitality, life, that squirrel. But wait...it doesn't care about you. It has its own nuts to seek. You have yours too. So its still lonely, that road. But wherefore will it lead? Or do you decide?
Uncle T
Uncle T
11 Apr 2007
Its here. Can't run! 9:57 pm
I got hit right in the face.
It flew right into my pimply crevices. And others of its kind did the same. The bugs are here. So are the woodpeckers; I have a love-hate relation with one just outside my window which has a go at my tree. The sun, despite a hide-and-seek with the clouds (can't expect perfection here in the UK), is still a warm welcome. The squirrels are out once more. So are the magpies, in groups.
I found campus to be really quiet, picturesque even. Doing my jogs on the same country road, seeing flowers clammer out of the ground, tranquil. Then I realised why it has been so quiet this Easter break; I trooped to the library today, and there was the Warwick students, studying!! Doesn't help when I'm trying to cover my syllabus for the finals.
PPE is cool. But that means literally taking 4 subjects: Philosophy, Politics, Economics, Maths. Make that 5. Since I'm atrocious at Logic, that's a subject on its own.
Man. So much for beautiful Spring.
Uncle T
It flew right into my pimply crevices. And others of its kind did the same. The bugs are here. So are the woodpeckers; I have a love-hate relation with one just outside my window which has a go at my tree. The sun, despite a hide-and-seek with the clouds (can't expect perfection here in the UK), is still a warm welcome. The squirrels are out once more. So are the magpies, in groups.
I found campus to be really quiet, picturesque even. Doing my jogs on the same country road, seeing flowers clammer out of the ground, tranquil. Then I realised why it has been so quiet this Easter break; I trooped to the library today, and there was the Warwick students, studying!! Doesn't help when I'm trying to cover my syllabus for the finals.
PPE is cool. But that means literally taking 4 subjects: Philosophy, Politics, Economics, Maths. Make that 5. Since I'm atrocious at Logic, that's a subject on its own.
Man. So much for beautiful Spring.
Uncle T
9 Apr 2007
First Barcelona... 4:27 am
At our wonderfully-located accomodation. Splendid.
Park Guell
The goddess who kept following us in posters across Barcelona. I mean Ian's goddess.
Gaudi's intimacy with nature's outlines.
Sagrada Familia. Let's hope its completed soon; a masterpiece.
Yes, the start of my holiday-cellulite programme.
A site not common in the English Midlands.
The man who encouraged my cellulite programme throughout the trip.
The man again, with me, at the biggest stadium in Europe, Nou Camp.
Indeed, this is way overdue. I have already been back from my trip to, first Barcelona, then Rome, with Ian, for about 5 days now. I needed some time to ask myself what did the trip mean to me. It is so easy to let the box-ticking sightseeing and photo-whoring be definitive of the trip. Now, too, that Easter is here, the angst of the pregnant wait for Easter to arrive is now gone, along with my unfulfilled Lenten promises (what's new).
But despite failed promises (very much reminiscent of every New Year resolution I make), the prelude to Easter was very much fulfiling, and in large part due to this trip that which I was graced by Ian's splendid company.
Barcelona.
Barcelona was Gaudi. For me, Gaudi very much typified my trip to the Catalan capital. (Do check it out. If you didn't already know, Barcelona, despite not being Spain's capital, is the capital of the autonomous state of Catalonia, a state within the Spanish state). Cities speak differently to different people. If we listen, cities do speak. For me, it was Gaudi, for others it may be SanGria, or Nou Camp.
Gaudi's adherence and inspiration from nature was inspiring and captivation His intimacy with nature would make any partner jealous. His daring art breaking conventions of his time, is not that foreign in the spirit of the Barcelona people. The city's peoples came across as flamboyant, fun-loving and being daring to try. The Spanish knew how to enjoy. I thought I could hear that in their music as well. Ian and I attended two music events there in the Catalan city, one of jazz in a historic jazz club, and the other of Spanish guitar, in a basilica.
Gaudi's Sagrada Familia captivated both our attention. It was nice to understand the biblical references made in the sculptures and facade. Not just in the unfinished masterpiece, but also in the other churches that Ian and I visited, popular or not. Ian and I are sincerely hoping to see the Sagrada Familia completed in our lifetime. We will be back for Barcelona, then. Especially also disappointingly not getting to visit the Sagrad Cor.
Barcelona was also where the pilgrimage started. For me, after being privileged to have seen a number of beautiful churches in both the cities of London and Paris, I sometimes wonder what to think, or feel, or do when I enter these ancient structures. To some of my friends, it is yet another ancient building, feeling the brunt of time on its facades, and have its insides shaken by the din of tourists and their accompanying photo-flashes. I, too, am guilty of such undertakings. But these are my Father's house. What am I to do then? I didn't know. I still don't. The best thing I can do is to kneel and pray in each church that I walk into. On my knees.
Rome in the next entry.
Uncle T
Crash of Civilisations? 3:52 am
Crash of Civilisations?
Just watched "Crash". In the dim solitude of a late spring sunset, in my kitchen. My abandoned chips, thai chilli sauce and I, sitting in a room that was growing dark. Watching the movie frightened me. It got chilly. I close the window.
Is there really a racist in everyone of us? At best, do we try not to be racist? Is affirmative action a mere counter-force that the world manifests from the guilt of deep-seated racism? I don't know. Do we, really? Is a claim: "I'm not racist" a true one? I don't know.
It is frightening, because, possibly, no matter how hard we try, we can never not be racist. Deep down, we all see colour. Those of us with the gift of sight see colours. Give us all a few more pints of beer, and, possibly, true racial lines will be clearly illustrated, normally held suppressed by education, guilt, moral norms, societal chides, indoctrinated decorum...I don't know.
It is because I don't know that I am frightened. Aren't you? To wake up and find that you're one of those whom you've condemned all your life? Watch "Crash".
Uncle T
Just watched "Crash". In the dim solitude of a late spring sunset, in my kitchen. My abandoned chips, thai chilli sauce and I, sitting in a room that was growing dark. Watching the movie frightened me. It got chilly. I close the window.
Is there really a racist in everyone of us? At best, do we try not to be racist? Is affirmative action a mere counter-force that the world manifests from the guilt of deep-seated racism? I don't know. Do we, really? Is a claim: "I'm not racist" a true one? I don't know.
It is frightening, because, possibly, no matter how hard we try, we can never not be racist. Deep down, we all see colour. Those of us with the gift of sight see colours. Give us all a few more pints of beer, and, possibly, true racial lines will be clearly illustrated, normally held suppressed by education, guilt, moral norms, societal chides, indoctrinated decorum...I don't know.
It is because I don't know that I am frightened. Aren't you? To wake up and find that you're one of those whom you've condemned all your life? Watch "Crash".
Uncle T
11 Mar 2007
Joke of the Day! 4:29 pm
Orders mee rebus with English tea...
Joke of the day!
Bush says: US care for the "human condition" and its "quiet, effective diplomacy".
Attended the U8 Summit here in Warwick yesterday. Absolutely amazing, discussing if developing countries do have in the policy-making process that affects them. I also hosted a delegate, and it turned out that I ended up hosting one of its 2005 founders.
I see U8 as a tentative platform for furthering some of my work and interests. And hopefully my conduit to meeting some of the developmental bigwigs. Mr Stiglitz and Mr Ha-Joon Chang, here I come! Let's have coffee sometime.
Uncle T
Joke of the day!
Bush says: US care for the "human condition" and its "quiet, effective diplomacy".
Attended the U8 Summit here in Warwick yesterday. Absolutely amazing, discussing if developing countries do have in the policy-making process that affects them. I also hosted a delegate, and it turned out that I ended up hosting one of its 2005 founders.
I see U8 as a tentative platform for furthering some of my work and interests. And hopefully my conduit to meeting some of the developmental bigwigs. Mr Stiglitz and Mr Ha-Joon Chang, here I come! Let's have coffee sometime.
Uncle T
5 Mar 2007
Illness, the sedative we need from the humdrum 9:45 pm
Fell ill after doing an all-nighter for my politics essay, which was due in on Friday. As mentioned, it was on a topic of my personal interest, that of ASEAN. As mentioned, one realises how interesting your own neighbourhood is after leaving it.
Went on down to Bath on Saturday, still nursing that awful flu, and attending SoulAsia Food Festival on both weekend nights. Singsoc sold excellent curry chicken, mee chaim kuay, Milo Dinosaur, pineapple tarts and kaya toast on Sunday. :)
Overall, the company I had over the weekend was excellent. It really was. I would even go as far to say that the trip to Stonehenge (yes, I was up close with 5000 years of history!) and Bath was made memorable more of the company than of the places themselves.
But having fallen ill, other than irritatingly slowing me down, has had its up sides. Ever since falling ill, and also possibly due to the romantic notion of the advent of spring, along with it being Lent, I've gotten more contemplative. This physical slowing down, as given me more time to think and reflect on what the hell am I running on the mill for. This comes timely, after hearing what Ben had to say about this insatiable appetite we all have to outdo each other. The focus becomes on others, then on ourselves. WOuld we go as far as saying this is a rather Asian perspective to life? A competition? I won't dare hazard an answer, really.
But, for me, this illness has definitely helped me put things into perspectives, calmed my nerves and slowly help me regain the focus on my centre.
And its off to floorball now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Uncle T
Went on down to Bath on Saturday, still nursing that awful flu, and attending SoulAsia Food Festival on both weekend nights. Singsoc sold excellent curry chicken, mee chaim kuay, Milo Dinosaur, pineapple tarts and kaya toast on Sunday. :)
Overall, the company I had over the weekend was excellent. It really was. I would even go as far to say that the trip to Stonehenge (yes, I was up close with 5000 years of history!) and Bath was made memorable more of the company than of the places themselves.
But having fallen ill, other than irritatingly slowing me down, has had its up sides. Ever since falling ill, and also possibly due to the romantic notion of the advent of spring, along with it being Lent, I've gotten more contemplative. This physical slowing down, as given me more time to think and reflect on what the hell am I running on the mill for. This comes timely, after hearing what Ben had to say about this insatiable appetite we all have to outdo each other. The focus becomes on others, then on ourselves. WOuld we go as far as saying this is a rather Asian perspective to life? A competition? I won't dare hazard an answer, really.
But, for me, this illness has definitely helped me put things into perspectives, calmed my nerves and slowly help me regain the focus on my centre.
And its off to floorball now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Uncle T