Hopefully next week 8:43 am

The irony, the irony. I have been so busy and occupied by work I hardly have had time to pen my thoughts and recollections. Until I forget to bring something important to work and rush home from the office to get it. Am now in the cab rushing home to pick it up, and I have found time to pen my thoughts.

It has been a whirlwind of thoughts that have assailed me in the last couple of weeks, with extremities too. There is so much to learn at work, there are still optimistic and passionate people of my age out there, that fostering a child is something I hope to do, that learning to rise above trying situations can be triumphant, that I'm terribly excited about next week, that I found a new friend...

Amidst the throngs of thoughts in the bustling streets of my mind, the landmark desire that protrudes from the sea of disparate musings is the desire to be creative. My creative juice is waiting to burst forth, awaiting that critical juncture to be released with fury and passion.

Hopefully next week.

Parasites through history 8:18 am

“Empires bought stability at the price of creating a parasitic court; monotheistic religions bought social cohesion at the expense of a parasitic priestly class; nationalism bought power at the expense of a parasitic military; socialism bought equality at the price of a parasitic bureaucracy; capitalism bought efficiency at the price of parasitic financiers.” [Matt Ridley]



Uncle T

So tiring 8:31 pm

It is so hard and tiring to be good. To try keep your cool when people and situations get frustrating and pesky. When you're down on luck. To keep smiling when you feel terribly lonely. To not get frustrated when the bus takes forever to come despite being late for an appointment. To stay strong and not be tempted to go to the toilet and cry when shit happens at the office.

It is so hard and tiring to be good.

Hence I need more than my strength. I am strongest when I'm on my knees in prayer.

boxes of nostalgia 1:48 am

it began when i received an SJI newsletter. sent me reeling with nostalgia; decided to open the dusty carton box.


army photos; tan and handsome then, fat and ugly now.
old camp letters.
angel-mortal letters.
random postcards from classmates.
letters from crushes. christmas cards.
photos of ex-girlfriend.
letters from mei.
doodling of ex-girlfriend whilst she was in chemistry class.
advice from seniors written on letters.
old guitar strings.
christmas presents from sunday class kids.
senior joe.
diary entries.


things that remind you who you are. these are so important, yet i leave them buried in boxes. amidst the routine of wakeup-work-work-eat-work-work-work-eat-refuse to sleep-sleep-wakeup, i need such guideposts to remind me who i am, who i want to be; apparently i knew what i wanted to be 13 years ago. apparently.

i will keep these things close to me. i'm now itching from the dust. but also filled with an inspiring nostalgia.

inspiring nostalgia. amen.



Uncle T

thomas the obscure 1:52 am

The table went silent when Thomas spoke, more out of social courtesy than anything else. Once he was done saying his peace, which had intentions of being engaging and a conversation-starter, the polite smiles went round and after a necessary pause, the crowd at the table returned to their conversations and laughter.


The harder they laughed, the more painful it was for Thomas. He was there but not quite there; he was amongst the crowd but wasn't really with them. And the most painful thing, he knew. He knew he was only allowed to speak because they decided to be courteous. He felt like the loser he used to silently chuckle at in high school. Perhaps this was Fate's cruel reprimand for that arrogance. Thomas felt like Mr. Cellophane.


The crowd interrupted his sentences as if he never spoke, his comments were aired not heard, his exchanges never became conversations. Thomas felt like Jude. Thomas felt obscure.


All he wanted to do was get up and run into the cover of the night. He wanted to show them what a loss to the company if he did run off. I'll make them regret for ignoring me, Thomas thought. But silently the voice within reminded him that even if we walked off, hardly anyone would realise let alone care. So he sat there through the evening, through the conversations and laughter, with every passing moment Thomas' entire being only wanting to belong, if even for a few minutes. Why? Why me? What have I done to deserve this, he implored.


As darkness of night provided a slight reprieve, all Thomas could do was to turn his eyes to the Crucifix, bite his lips, fight the tears and pray. Thomas' greatest comfort amidst this darkness was being on his knees in prayer.


So the story goes of Thomas the Obscure.




"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love, and to be loved in return".


Uncle T

are we all so lonely? 8:11 am

Do read the story here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8658327.stm.

My first reaction reading the article was that of a typical tabloid-reader. The ludicracy of the title first gained my attention and had a laugh, close to mocking; a laugh that said "surely, that is plain silly and that would NEVER happen to me".

But on second thoughts, the realness of this story struck me; a German man marries his dying cat. Does it reflect a loneliness that our modern trappings are increasingly encouraging or is this plain insanity? But perhaps insanity is a mere condition relative to sanity, and perhaps this guy is the only one brave enough to admit freely that in his loneliness he has found kinship with a non-traditional source.

For this German postman its his cat. For some of us, it may be computer games, it may be pornography, it may be being a workoholic; perhaps in some way, all of us are ludicrously married to something to stave off that hunger for companionship in our lives.



Uncle T

monday morning jazz 8:04 am

Its a Monday morning at 8am in a quiet office. The only thing cutting through the silence is the cleaner singing, the whirling of the central air-conditioning, my stomach crunching on breakfast, my mind trying to wake up, and Betty Carter's jazz vocals.

I don't have anything in particular to write about, but decided to write anyway; sometimes the fingers take a life of its own and comes up with something. Or perhaps that each time I decide to write, either on paper on online, it triggers the 'contemplation department' in the brain, which translates into something to write.

It has been a long 2 weeks. And I was glad for the weekend to have come, and how it has past. I am bracing myself for yet another long week, but very much emotionally recharged and restrategised. And in 2 weeks, I can smile. :D

As Ailin mentioned, it was my first birthday back home in Singapore after 3 years. Somehow, it seems closer to a decade that I last celebrated a birthday here. It was a quiet, unassuming one, and somehow I liked it that way. Perhaps I would have wanted even more quiet. I am looking to see if I can get away sometime, back to nature.

I need to head back to the trees and the green of nature, where there is room to contemplate and appreciate. Will you come with me? Let's head back to the wilderness together.


Uncle T

Greater than I 9:04 am

I just had a straining Saturday afternoon of floorball. All I wanted was to get home quickly, shower and chill. I got more than that.

The sky threatened throughout the journey home as I dragged my body along the newly-opened Circle Line of the MRT. I groaned at the thought of not having an umbrella. The dark clouds looked somehow majestic as they rolled with the pregnant wind; the trees obeyed as they swayed in fear with lightning cracking the horizon. It even looked poetic. Then as I stepped onto the feeder bus home, it started to pour.

I felt helpless. Lugging my sports gear and fatigued calves, I dreaded getting off the bus. Should I wait at the busstop till the rain subsided? Should I make a dash? Drama-mama as it may be, I actually felt helpless to the weather I had no control over. I had an overwhelming feeling that there was something greater than I.

The previous evening I attended the funeral wake of a close buddy's father. Uncle had passed away due to post-surgery complications. It was a simple procedure that was meant to come and go. And his son in Glasgow never expected him to go forever. I knOw the family, and it pained deep inside as I hugged his mother to convey my condolences. Again, I was engulfed in that same helplessness, that alot was beyond my control, out of our hands. There was something greater than I.

A farmer once said he keeps faithful to a Greater Being because each time he ploghs his fields, he shudders with fear the lack of rain, something that is way beyond his control.

Perhaps it is because my urban life is so antithetical to the farmer's that I forget sometimes that I am not the centre of the universe.

Some might disagree, but I have found others that agree; that our urban lives so enveloped by Western-individualism, avatar-creating virtual space and individual-centric technology, that it is sometimes hard not to think of oneself as the centre of the universe. Take for instance Facebook. It encourages an individualistic outlook on things; posting personal updates, sharing links, profile pictures thinking the rest of the world will be interested in our lives. Not that it is at all a bad thing, it is just very easy to step across the line of being slightly narcissistic. Perhaps this is not true for many, but I am at least certain for some this happens. Virtual reality helps us create worlds that puts us and only us at their centres.

But I am not saying farmer-life is better. I am not saying stop playing Farmville on Facebook either. Rather, at least for me, I must (and want) to resist the urge of modernity's push towards self-centeredness. Perhaps it might take a lifetime to justify this resistance, but I am certain this resistance to self-centeredness appeals to us intuitively to some extent if we think about it hard enough.

So I decided to enjoy the rain. Instead of bitching about the uncontrollable, I slung my bags snugly and stepped out into the rain. Those taking shelter at the busstop looked at me. I choose to think that it was looks of admiration, not insanity, to walk in the thunderstorm. It felt liberating to embrace the kind of storm that drenches you 'within 2 seconds' as Val puts it.

I enjoyed the stroll in the rain as umbrellas shuffled past me. My slippers attacked puddles on the ground, my bag collected water as I looked to the heavens and smiled. Mummy looked shocked to find a drenched me as she hurried me into the house.

I guess I can continue living in my self-centred world, but at the same time to appreciate the possibility that there is something, Someone, greater than I.

train wreck? 9:35 am

gemsphere says: 
u r a deep thinker
tts why i try to steer away fr ur train of thoughts


Do my thoughts wreck others? Perhaps it would be easier to survive in our world by being superficial and not 'think so much'; or perhaps just keep all the thoughts deep within myself. Perhaps the 'dumb blond' is more than just the butt of jokes; perhaps its a sustainable survival strategy in our societies.


Uncle T

Liberating 10:58 pm

It has not been the best of Sundays. Not bad, just not good, especially after that phone call this afternoon.

But that aside, there was a moment today I relished.

We attended Mass as a family at SVDP. Having Fr Paul, a visiting priest from India, did bring a smile to our faces with his sometimes-comprehensible accent. It started to rain halfway through the service, and boy was it a thunderstorm.

When service ended, I volunteered to drive the car over to the church's porch so that the family won't get wet. I hesitated to step into the pouring torrents without an umbrella. But the moment I did, it was liberating.

The initial droplets that touched my skin through my dry fabric startled me as I picked up speed whilst looking for oncoming vehicles. But the moment I settled into the wetness, it was refreshing from there. The rain just drenched me as I ran across the streets, and relishing every moment. There was a peculiar lucidity that I enjoyed.

It really was liberating, that left me grinning the moment I got into the dryness of the car. It is a grin that I wished to share.

Let's run in the rain together sometime.

credit: ©2009-2010 *fhrankee on deviantart

Uncle T

Ladies in White 12:47 am

I decided to walk instead of taking the bus. After all, it wasn't too far, but long enough to take stock on the long week. It is a Friday night.

Then I see a familiar figure. Her long hair against her white dress that cut through the growing darkness. I call out and catch the familiar smile of her eyes. Its been about half a year since we last met. I walk with her to her evening destination nearby and we quickly catch up. She has just changed jobs but still in the industry. She still has her own car.

That was the first random meeting. The first lady in white.

I carry on my way and head towards the bookstore. Borders. I wonder when it would go bankrupt, as its British counterpart has; under siege by digital media. I wanted to take refuge amongst the shelves of books, away from working life's cruel onslaught. Its a Friday night.

I walked past the 'Economics' books, the her familiar figure caught my eyes; rather, her dyed-bangs did. We were trying to grab coffee the last 3 weeks, but never did. We decided to take this coincidental chance. We go for coffee before it was time for my dinner appointment. We had a good chat; people management at work eased into the insecurities people had. We recommended each other books, and before we knew it, our chance meeting came to an end as I had to leave.

That was the second random lady in white.

We parted as I headed to the bus stop of my schooldays. Being at that busstop brought back memories of waiting there after school in uniform. Tonight, I was heading for a dinner appointment after a long week at work.

The Gratitude Attitude 8:53 pm

Some people may differ, but it is not easy to be thankful for the good stuff in our lives.

Somehow, I am my most poetic and lyrical when I'm sad. And staring down history, many poets and musicians were at their composing best when they were at their low points. So though its not an everybody-thing, its for a number of people. Sad times tend to be more poignant, more memorable. Sad times make the body and mind become acutely aware of the circumstance; I'm more aware of a painful cut than when I'm otherwise healthily normal. I rarely celebrate my health, which I proabably take for granted as given; many peers in troubled parts of the world would chide me for that.

On radio this morning, a gentleman commented on the younger generation being 'fat cats'; the good life served up on a silver platter, never having known hardship so the moment an ounce of fabric change on the couch we lay on, we complain. Many might disagree, especially my generation, but I suspect there is some truth in this analogy. At least for me, it reflects some truth; I'm so comfortable that I forget to be thankful for the good stuff which I take as given.

For me, it is not easy being thankful for the good stuff in my life.

Don't get me wrong; I do say my thanksgiving prayers weekly at Mass. In fact, i overdo it on a daily basis. Yet somehow gratitude comes not from such superficial gestures, but rather sincere gratitude should manifest through the testimony of how I live my life. And as a priest mentioned over the Easter weekend that just past, that whilst it is ever-tempting to walk into the 'tomb of self-pity' using religious imagery, we should always resist. And I do believe walking away from such a temptation is in part living out the gratitude for the life that I have.

A friend mentioned just yesterday how our generation of Singaporeans have 'no monsters to fight' and therefore don't dare, and bother, to be agents of change. When we do see faults in society, alot of us simply get behind our screens and become, in his words, 'keyboard warriors'; complain about these faults through online forums and that is as much as we do to lend a solution. What is said here is indeed a sweeping observation but is an accurate one, in my view despite the lack of numbers to prove it. How many of us step up to try be solutions to the faults we complain about? Not just at the societal level, how about at the work level? How often do we 'step up'?

The question to ask is why; why are we fast becoming a generation that complains and not act towards a solution directly? Is it relevant to ask this in the same vein as the first issue at the start of how it is not easy being thankful for the lives we have? Or am I simply conflating complex issues out of convenience?

Perhaps we will leave this debate here for now. After all, I do suspect this issue will linger for just abit before a whole generation learns to deal with these issues.

KopiTalk Digest #3 3:19 am

hey peeps,

This is the third issue of random dandom bits of information. Hope it helps
you get through the rest of the week; when free, just click on the links.
All of them are quick reads :) Enjoy!


Toyota sales: careful with how we read stats
The first link says how good the Toyota sales numbers looked in the last
month, a possible bounce back from their brakes-problem crisis. The second
link however asks us to be cautious about the numbers. Nothing very
interesting la, just a reminder how stats can be misleading if not used
with nuance. A local stats prof once said: 'statistics is like a bikini; it
covers up what is most essential'. :)
http://www.brandchannel.com/home/post/2010/04/02/Toyota-Brand-May-Be-Bouncing-Back-Already.aspx
http://www.forbes.com/2010/04/02/toyota-sales-march-business-autos-flint.html?feed=rss_home



Be a carpooling superstar with iPad in your car!
If you follow techie websites now, its been all about the iPad. And since
we're on the topic of Toyota cars, check out what a company has done to get
the iPad fitted into a Toyota car. I want myself one of these!!
Link:
http://www.engadget.com/2010/04/06/ipad-gets-fitted-into-car-dashboard-makes-you-an-instant-carpoo/



Tea Parties woohoo!
Over lunch, Pris brough up the idea of reviving tea parties! Then Firhan
mentioned about the political tea parties in the US. So for some of us who
want to know abit more about tea parties, here's the links for the tea
parties that Pris wants, and the other tea party movement taking place in
political America.
Link on how to organise a tea part (Pris' thing):
http://www.ehow.com/how_2828_throw-disco-party.html
Link on political tea party movement:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tea_Party_movement


Careful with short and sweet!
Its not uncommon for a boss to ask for a one-pager summary of a proposal;
things like 'elevator pitches'. But this article says while this is good in
forcing the proposer to be succinct and clear on the pitch, it warns that
this simplication, some essential complexities may be lost-in-summary.
Interesting and quick read :) http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2010/04/avoid_over-simplifying_your_on.html


The Greyhound Story + PS Cafe Story
It had its humble beginnings in Bangkok selling men's casual wear in 1980.
Today, Greyhound has built itself into a lifestyle brand with a reputable
fashion name and a series of 6 restaurants that would leave many jealous
of. It is one of the examples of entrepreneurship nearer to home, and its
rather inspiring.
http://www.greyhound.co.th/
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1624541/review_greyhound_cafe_in_bangkok_thailand.html


Much closer to home is the 3 dudes behind Project Shop, and subsequently
the PS Cafe branches; I heard they are opening yet another branch in the
heritage area. One thing inspiring about this 3 is that each of them have
their own talents and use them to build their cafes from scratch, and not
hire consultants and do up their restaurants. One dude is a pastries,
another an architect and another the fashion designer.

Will we have more home-grown brands we can be proud of? Brands truly
Singapore? I'm crossing my fingers we will.

Uncle T

KopiTalk Digest #2 7:02 pm

hey guys & gals!

welcome to the second issue of KopiTalk Digest! just random dandom stuff to make your day more interesting, and hopefully more fruitful!


Are you a "supertasker"?
Here's a short article that sheds some light on multi-tasking. Only a very few of us are "supertaskers", so the suggestion is please don't try find out by using the phone and driving at the same time.
Link

Singlish Up La!
Singlish has made its mark! This time via the gaming world through Bolo Santosi. Enjoy, for those who haven't already caught this floating in the Net!
Link

Will the Dragon keep soaring?
China's growth is still a talking point in the media and pop-talk; go to any bookstore and scanning the bookstore will surely pick up the word "China". This inforgraphic however does question if the dragon will continue to rise unbridled, and points out possible roadblocks. However, do note this is written from a Western standpoint; what the West may think are roadblocks may not in reality be issues within an Asian context.
Link

Wanted: social entrepreneurs
Though short, this article provides a perspective on the global need for social entrepreneurs. This is from the perspective of a global citizen, where one is concerned about the social issues that faces the rest of our fellow citizens in the global village. This article points towards education amongst our youth as a possible solution to this issue. Though not educators per se, perhaps we have a part to play because we're not 'old'; 'old' in the im-too-old-to-do-more-than-complain-and-not-do-anything-about-it. :)
Link

Creative Mess: can Singapore tahan that?
This is an interesting take on Singapore in comparison to the other global cities of the world. I won't say I fully agree with its perspective, but perhaps there is some truth in this perspective. Will Singapore be ever be truly on the same level as the likes of New York if it doesn't allow abit of the 'creative mess' that allegedly typifies these global centres? What do you think? Does Singapore have grand enough a story to sell?
Link


Uncle T

KopiTalk Digest: Creative Quotient 2:17 pm

Found this interesting blog post by Nussbaum, who was actually in Singapore last year for the World Design Congress. It is about Creative Quotient (CQ); its not a very detailed blog entry, but a good teaser to the subject for those who are interested.

Talk about getting creative! A Kansas mayor decided he would change his town's name to Google! WTH! So read here for the article, followed by the witty response from Google's chief.

a town in kansas deciding to call itself Google. Source: CNN

in its generosity, Google decided to return the favour to the Mid-Western Kansas town. one more reason to love Google. Source: Google Blog

Finally, here's the latest creative innovation based on Google's gmail. For those with a romantic and nostalgic slant, here's one for you. Only in its concept stage, this is the Google Mail Envelopes. See if it makes you smile :)



Uncle T