Taxi rides + travel 9:17 am

It still feels the same.

Despite the different colour in the taxi, the different make if the taxi, the different accent of the taxi-driver, the different route, the different weather, it still feels the same.

The same routine of not sleeping through the night, the same dread of last-minute packing, the same mechanical packing instinct, the same juxtaposition of dread and excitement, the same fatigue. The night before travelling to a faraway place is still the same.

Travelling the way I did in university was something I only started doing in the UK. Travelling alone is surely a recent thing. So I am thankful that whilst I'm back in Singapore, this comforting familiarity remains.

I am off to India. Having gotten used to it, I am once more waiting for my flight at the airport alone. Somehow, after the bustle of routine and crowds, I treasure such times. There is something about airports that help make this solitude as enigmatic as I make it sound.

Oh well, fighting the all-nighter fatigue. I'll end here. I'm excited, yet tinged with trepidation. Such is life's uncertainties. And I love it.

nothing else matters... 11:44 pm

but the smile of a child.

things that make you smile so quietly it doesn't matter if the world noticed you did. 11:40 pm

Uncle Kopi 8:27 am

It suddenly dawned upon me despite it being so obvious. It is for such reasons and more its not worth committing suicide; each day has the possibility of a new revelation despite its obscure probability the day before.


On being Uncle
I call myself Uncle T. This blog is my kopi place. Friends get annoyed at me for talking about things too serious at TCC/Thai Express/Coffee Club dinners. I talk too much and I talk with too much convicted opinion.

Then today I realised why or where these come from. I find myself typing this blogpost over with 3 middle-aged Singaporean men having an extended conversation about how Hainan Island chicken rice is different from our local Hainanese Chicken rice. Now they are lamenting how the younger generation today are 'softies' who want to 'lie in their bed but not build it', wanting long-term benefits with short-term efforts. They lament with conviction saying its part of life to bear hardship before enjoying life. Not that I totally disagree with them, but I argue with them for the sake of us 'younger generation'.


Makan with uncle, become uncle
It is these kopi sessions that I have been having with these men for over a decade. I think my opinions and debates about the whole gamut of issues in life from the hawker centre tables. I wish my intellectual seeds were planted in more romantic places like debates with philosophers at Cafe de Flore in Paris. But my intellectual reality begins at Ang Mo Kio hawker tables. In this last decade, I've had breakfast with these men from them in their managerial days to now them being retired. Surely, breakfast sessions with my dad and his friends all these years have had a huge part to play in me being an Uncle today.


On being a young man
Uncle Tony puts his hands on my shoulder, gives it a firm goodbye squeeze and says, 'Young man, when you decide what to do (in life), let me know'. For a young man, that is a tall order.

Andrew said... 1:07 pm

Andrew said, 'I woke up and didn't realise it was Christmas Eve. You expect snow,and it isn't there. You expect a quiet breakfast with a loved one and its all in the mind. I rushed off to work.

Somehow, this Christmas eve seems lonely. You look around and see loved ones but do wonder where has all the Christmas love has gone hiding.

Let's hope it gets better.'

That got me thinking.

Epiphanies amidst the mad rush 7:19 pm

I have been rushing around so much these last few days, so much so that my trusty electronic calendar was not even utilised for its 'to-do' function. There has been so many things to do with such tight turn-arounds its more efficient remembering them rather than recording them.

Hardly any sleep, checking emails on the move, whispering quick prayers on the go, nonesense lunches. Gone is the luxury of overplanning which I enjoyed in some parts of the past 5 months. Now its no longer strategic planning, but more fire-fighting, operational deadlines.

Yet, ,when just when I'm about to bitch about nursing a 3.5 hour nap in 24 hours, I realise I'm loving this, or at least parts of it. I nearly always give thanks to be alive to experience all this adrenaline. I learn more about myself, meet new people, understans fresh insights. Change truly being in full gear.

A friend gently reminded me of staying stuck in comfort zones and familiar roles. I have to have the guts to continually re-assess and discern; life in constant change needs constant renewals and rethinks. One change so hard to swallow is perhaps accepting that some old friends have moved on and old friendships to be replaced by new ones. Now that is a scary thought just before Christmas. This reality threatens to create cracks on the romanticism of my ideal friendships.

Oh boy. O come Emmanuel...

Oh what a night... 8:08 am

I cannot even remember when was the last time I did it. I was too tired to decide if it were a good thing or bad. Whatever the case, it happened.

Sitting on my bed in the dark of past-midnight. I looked up, they were still there from 7 years ago; the glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling. I was on the mobile phone...

This morning I awake with just 3.5 hours of sleep. I now sit awaiting my turn to see the doctor. It is my final day at my 1st rotation. Its drizzling. One week to Christmas

Am I making sense? Oh what a night...

poem: this is an artist 9:15 am

"

As she digests the black scribblings

On the score, the faint sounds of

Melody echo in her head. Then, the years

Of training magically transforms the dead ink-blots into

Harmonies through her smurfish fingers, bringing 

Alive the music along with its dead composers.

To celebrate the splendour of the music-scapes that

Escaped her body, she turns to writing verses

To try record the intensity of capturing the 

Soul of the composition.

In so doing, she brings the art from ink back to 

Ink. 

This is an artist.

Uncle T

bright spots in a sea of grey 9:15 am

A city of grey
It would be unfair to call Singapore a jaded society. But I do not think it inaccurate to say Singapore is not the most hopeful and optimistic of societies; a society which embraces hope and all that jazz. Yet, whichever society it is, it is neither good nor bad. But I much prefer, and hope, for us to be  a hopeful and optimistic society. But I will leave the academic and logical justifications for such comments for another time.


A hopeful and optimistic society is a society that might dare to dream, in good times and in bad. The society as a whole dares to dream up big visions and dares to work towards it, and the individuals within that society each dare to dream big and work towards it. If so, then perhaps we are indeed not the most 'dreamy' of societies.


Even before I carry on, I am sure a statement like that would illicit disagreement. But I am just going to say this: I truly believe it is possible to dream till your heads are in the clouds but with your feet firmly on the ground at the same time.


Ever since embarking on an art project of two after coming home, I get that sense of a society that tends to shun away from dreaming; it probably is deemed too impractical, too lofty, too 'airy-fairy'. Probably a society that wants to keep it real and safe, especially given the gloom of current the financial situation. What I am afraid to admit is that this financial austerity during this financial meltdown is not just a temporary translation to this lack of willingness to dream, but this strong inclination towards "practicality" is a permanent trait of ours. In my view, a society permanently choosing practical concerns and not daring to dream is a city of grey. Not black, just grey; not any of the extremes of white or black, just in between, just grey.




Bright spots: Inspired persons
However at the same time, these art projects has allowed me to meet inspired people; people who not only dare to dream but people who act on their dreams. These are the bright spots in a sea of grey. Perhaps this lot might have had it going for them to be allowed to dream; they don't have to worry about their next meal or a roof over their head, hence they have the time to dream. But this is not an accusation of those who don't dream, this is about the celebration of those who choose to act on their dreams even if they didn't have to. Walking the path to your dreams is often the path less traveled by most societies. Thus, walking the path to your dreams tends to be the more difficult path; all the more then do I appreciate these bright spots around me.


It is on days when it gets trying to push on that these inspired persons serve as spots of inspiration too. Last evening, I just met one such bright spot for dinner. An accomplished musician who wants to keep learning, and admits there is so much more to learn out there; a sign of a great musician to be. The way I see it, the difference between the good and the great is that the good think they have already arrived and the great will always be humbled by what they do not know and want to keep learning.


I have gone on for more than I wanted to. Well, these days it is only through writing that I get that catharsis I require in my life right now, so let me ramble abit la. :)

this was the most recent concert that the "bright spot from last night" played at. it was more than just a show; it was a performance.

Uncle T

of voids and Gregorian chants 8:41 am

"...As the darkness edged past midnight, he sits there not wanting to close his eyes and rest for the night; there is too much to do yet there is too much emptiness. So he looks to tradition in his hour of need; he turns to the Gregorian chants of the Benedictine monks to fill the voids of loneliness. The ancient Latin just seems to ease the numbing pain. For now.

the ancient statues of the Cathedral in Milan watch on silently; either in indifference or in reverence.

Uncle T

my|4-walls: more than just a photo exhibition. join us jan 15 2010 3:21 pm

Uncle T

toffeenutnomics 11:25 pm

toffee nuts in london + barcelona

It was about a year back when I first drank my first Starbucks toffee nut latte alone. I was in London. Winter was creeping in and it was getting cold. I found my way to a Starbucks near Holborn as I waited for Ian to come by for dinner. Upon a friend’s recommendation, I had my first toffee nut. Its warmth was really comforting in the London cold.

Half a year after that, I drank another Starbucks toffee nut, this time a frappucino; it was summertime in Barcelona. This time, I had the company of the very friend who first recommended me the drink. I do recall that it was a nice frap with a nice conversation to go along with it.

a toffee nut that makes you smile in the summer of barcelona

525, 600-ish minutes later: toffee nut in singapore

Half a year after that, and about a year after my first toffee nut, I am drinking yet another toffee nut frap. This time, I am strawing it in alone in Singapore. Aside from the amazement at the reality of the globalisation-reach, it’s a rather poignant juncture to take a breather and take stock a year after my first toffee nut.

What better way to mark our lifetimes by way of a globalised coffee drink; the toffee-nut measure.

So let’s see how far I’ve walked (or flown in a highly mobile world):

Then, was struggling in school. Now, graduated with a good degree.

Then, was a student. Now, working man.

Then, had cool red specs. Now, cooler blue and yellow specs.

Then, fat. Now, less fat.

Then, was about to endure the most challenging year of my life. Now, lived through it battle-scared.

Then, uncertain about the future. Now, still uncertain.

You see, the list will go on. And it always will, whenever we do suck retrospections. Some things change, some things don’t. Change is the only constant, the old cliché goes, and its true. But what would be cool, and wisely so, is when it comes to times of reflection about the past, it should be also about the future.

then, now, later

Standing at now and looking to the past, things will surely to have changed. But the more challenging bit is standing at now and looking to the future, and seeing what changes you hope to see and become. Some changes are be beyond us; the world ending in 2012 is sadly beyond us, so says the divination lot of the movie ticket. However, there is possibly that 20% of our future that lies within the control of the choices we make today. It is those choices I make today that will make me tomorrow that is crucial to look at as I sip the remnants of my toffee nut at Thomson Road.

Sadly, that friend who introduced me to the joy of toffee nut is far away. Perhaps I may even venture to say we’re not far apart just physically but on other levels too. I wonder how she is. But however she is, I know that even if the shit hits the fan, I know she will find comfort in her toffee nut.

After all, some things just never change.

Uncle T

photo: "simple joys" 9:58 pm

"simple joys" | barcelona

Can we ever return to that with which
We started with?
That innocence, that guts to
Act in faith, to let fly,
Not not care about consequences and thus
Live life a little more full?

Are has cynicism encrusted into our skin,
The only one we now know?
Is there no more room for whimsicals, for
Puppy loves?
What has this world done to us?

I want to fiercely defend the child in me,
The child the Father made in His image,
And not be so obsessed being the
Adult that the world has forced me to be.

You may join me.
But if you intend to wear your trenchcoat of
Purposeless cynicism, then my house
May not be for you.
Yet, the doors are always open, the welcome mat out.

Uncle T

Reminiscing over a cuppa 10:20 am

Another post I wrote after starting work. It is incomplete, yet still worthy for what it is. Perhaps I will complete it someday, perhaps in a way totally different from the way it was intended. But that is the way sometimes things are; ever-changing, never still. Always, therefore, I've got to always prepare for change, even in the things that I thought were meant to last forever.

Funny how a mere morning cuppa can trigger so many memories.

This morning, it is Starbucks at Fusionopolis, Singapore. Yet, just standing here adding raw brown sugar to my espresso sends shots of memories flying back to me. Waking in Brooklyn, morning lectures in Warwick, makan in Corsica, breakfast at Ang Moh Kio...Morning kopi is a trigger, a portal, my hope.

Perhaps it is the caffeine. No. It is just the kopi experience. The clarity of mind that comes with this experience is so sharp it is amazing each time. As clear as the Corscian moon in Easter.

Bus 10:19 am

This was a post written nearly 4 months back, when I first came home from the UK. Then, I was adjusting back to life in Singapore. Now, I am still adjusting. Now I am even wondering if its naive to think people I left behing 3 years back are still the same.

I am on the bus home. Same number, but new bus. The seats are now some untearable synthetic red thing. The bus passes through a familiar route, one literally that captures much of my teenhood. The bus pulls into the stop where the ex-girlfiriend lives.

One observation, other than the one that you now have to wear seatbelts at the back of the bus. I do wonder how young couples make out at the back of buses these days. The observation: nearly everyone on the bus is engaged with an electronic device, including me, in trying to type this. The boy next to me is figuring out some love triangle over the phone.

The lights on the bus are so bright I feel naked. Just a few years back, dim buslights were conducive for falling asleep, creating alluring orange hues that guarantee you miss your stop.

I wonder where this ride will take me. Hopefully to a place where there is good company, love, jazz, coffee, a pen and a paper...

Matthew 6:25 7:46 am

"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? "Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to to his life?

Uncle T

Statistics on Social Media 8:28 am

photo courtesy of http://theamazingworldofpsychiatry.wordpress.com

Social Media

These statistics are from the blog socialnomics.net, inspired by the book of the same title. Do hope that whenever you can catch some time, grab a glimpse of these numbers that show the massive impact social media has on our lives, and only looking to be greater down the road.

Statistics

1. By 2010 Gen Y will outnumber Baby Boomers….96% of them have joined a social network

2. Social Media has overtaken porn as the #1 activity on the Web

3. 1 out of 8 couples married in the U.S. last year met via social media

4. Years to Reach 50 millions Users: Radio (38 Years), TV (13 Years), Internet (4 Years), iPod (3 Years)…Facebook added 100 million users in less than 9 months…iPhone applications hit 1 billion in 9 months.

5. If Facebook were a country it would be the world’s 4th largest between the United States and Indonesia (note that Facebook is now creeping up – recently announced 300 million users)

6. Yet, some sources say China’s QZone is larger with over 300 million using their services (Facebook’s ban in China plays into this)

7. comScore indicates that Russia has the most engage social media audience with visitors spending 6.6 hours and viewing 1,307 pages per visitor per month – Vkontakte.ru is the #1 social network

8. 2009 US Department of Education study revealed that on average, online students out performed those receiving face-to-face instruction

9. 1 in 6 higher education students are enrolled in online curriculum

10. % of companies using LinkedIn as a primary tool to find employees….80%

11. The fastest growing segment on Facebook is 55-65 year-old females

12. Ashton Kutcher and Ellen Degeneres (combined) have more Twitter followers than the population of Ireland, Norway, or Panama. Note I have adjusted the language here after someone pointed out the way it is phrased in the video was difficult to determine if it was combined.

13. 80% of Twitter usage is outside of Twitter…people update anywhere, anytime…imagine what that means for bad customer experiences?

14. Generation Y and Z consider e-mail passé…In 2009 Boston College stopped distributing e-mail addresses to incoming freshmen

15. What happens in Vegas stays on YouTube, Flickr, Twitter, Facebook…

16. The #2 largest search engine in the world is YouTube

17. Wikipedia has over 13 million articles…some studies show it’s more accurate than Encyclopedia Britannica…78% of these articles are non-English

18. There are over 200,000,000 Blogs

19. 54% = Number of bloggers who post content or tweet daily

20. Because of the speed in which social media enables communication, word of mouth now becomes world of mouth

21. If you were paid a $1 for every time an article was posted on Wikipedia you would earn $156.23 per hour

22. Facebook USERS translated the site from English to Spanish via a Wiki in less than 4 weeks and cost Facebook $0

23. 25% of search results for the World’s Top 20 largest brands are links to user-generated content

24. 34% of bloggers post opinions about products & brands

25. People care more about how their social graph ranks products and services than how Google ranks them

26. 78% of consumers trust peer recommendations

27. Only 14% trust advertisements

28. Only 18% of traditional TV campaigns generate a positive ROI

29. 90% of people that can TiVo ads do

30. Hulu has grown from 63 million total streams in April 2008 to 373 million in April 2009

31. 25% of Americans in the past month said they watched a short video…on their phone

32. According to Jeff Bezos 35% of book sales on Amazon are for the Kindle when available

33. 24 of the 25 largest newspapers are experiencing record declines in circulation because we no longer search for the news, the news finds us.

34. In the near future we will no longer search for products and services they will find us via social media

35. More than 1.5 million pieces of content (web links, news stories, blog posts, notes, photos, etc.) are shared on Facebook…daily.

36. Successful companies in social media act more like Dale Carnegie and less like David Ogilvy Listening first, selling second

37. Successful companies in social media act more like party planners, aggregators, and content providers than traditional advertiser

Uncle T

photos: forgotten beauties around us 12:05 am

All these photographs were taken at a quiet little garden in Jurong West, Singapore. I don't suppose anyone would think something so small could hide somethings so beautiful.

There is so much around us to see, if only we look around and be open to finding something beautiful out there.

Uncle T

shots of a london i miss 12:59 am

capiscums@borough market | london

death by confectionary | borough market, london

upon london bridge | london

kitchen @ wright's brothers oyster bar | london

dinner@ wright's brothers | london

Uncle T

Gone for the weekend 7:29 pm

Not too many weekends ago, I left the regularity of an urban weekend and went for a retreat, tucked away in a secluded corner of Hougang.

Not too many weekends later, I am yet again off to a retreat, this time in ulu-ated Jurong West. And given I am standing in a crowded train typing this, the getaway from the urban rush is terribly inviting.

This retreat is called the 'Choice Weekend'. It is supposedly about making choices in our lives especially with regards to the relationships in our lives. As always, these retreats always seem daunting at the start. They often pose tough questions that require taking out old crumpled clothing from the closet that require some ironing. They often end off begging a call to action in our lives. All in all, the advent of such retreats scares the shit out of me. Yet, I still am ever eager.

I guess its much like taking rollar coasters; always getting cold feet just before yet thirsting for the exhilaration and thrill, and end up not regretting going after coming out at the end.

As much as one may argue that self-reflection can be done anyway anytime, my humanness much prefers a dedicated and conducive environment to do just that. Therefore, such retreats are loooking to be regular features in my working life ahead.

Why not come along for the next retreat? You are always more than welcome.

The journey from the head to the heart is one of the longest journeys in life. But remember you,re not alone ya.

Vocab time: Cornucopia 12:51 am

–noun

1.	Classical Mythology. a horn containing food, drink, etc., in endless supply, said to have been a horn of the goat Amalthaea.

2.	a representation of this horn, used as a symbol of abundance.

3.	an abundant, overflowing supply.

4.	a horn-shaped or conical receptacle or ornament.

Origin:
1585–95;(see cornu ) + cōpiae of plenty (gen. s. of cōpia); see copious

Uncle T

All he can do is kneel and pray... 2:05 am

With just a dismissive few words, Susan ended their lives. He just cannot believe it, how cold she was in the delivery; Susan did not flinch one bit. He didn't know to be angry or just plain shattered; Susan just didn't care anymore. Not to mention them, Susan didn't care about him anymore. All he was was an existence that hung on the wall; if it were straight or crooked, horizontal or vertical, Susan seemed oblivious to the state of his existence. She just knew he was there, nothing more. From being Susan's pride, he now just became an existence; he became merely a number to call only for help.

He wants to scream, but the 4-walls of morality and decency discourages him and the ignorance of the rest of the world drowns out his cries. All he can do is kneel and pray, hoping that someone way up there would hear his sobs.

He fights back the tears, fights back the loneliness, fights back the cynicism laced with anger. He wants to fight for the future; a future of love and hope.

Amen.

Uncle T

Just one day 5:53 pm

'If you had one day, just one, to know a stranger, what will you do?

Have a darn good conversation over darn-good coffee and jazz. And pray we'll meet again.'

A cold tropical night 12:40 am

The tiny little angel in her arms, the young mother strolls in the night singing to the little one. A comforting sight on this cool evening. Somehow, its abit too cold for a tropical night; too cold.


Uncle T

Saturdays & words 8:58 pm

For the second time this week, I am having a Haagen-Dazs affogato alone. Today, with a slightly heavier heart on a Saturday, but that's nothing too surprising with Uncle T.

I love Saturdays, especially the afternoons. Its that sweet spot of the week that I wish lasts forever. You know the excitement of the weekend that occurs around Thursday afternoons? Saturday mornings is the realisation of this excitement. It is the beginning of the endless possibilities the weekend can offer. All this on Saturdays.

Saturday's sunlight seems less harsh, seems gentler; present, but gentle. Saturday's jazz more about hopeful infatuations that resigned unrequitted love; Saturday's breeze more understanding than the cruel winds that wreck havoc in the region; Saturday's words more dreamy than pensively contemplative; Saturday's steeets filled with loosened collars than sullen faces. Saturday is that sweet spot of the week I wished lasted forever.

I sit here typing on a tiny screen all my big ponderings and what-ifs. The day I decided to entertain that English what-if has added to the philosophical bubbles in my head. I sit here listening to the piped in oldies I used to sing when I was young. Week in week out, I sang oldies on karaoke. I was so contented singing. Not caring about anything else but the cheesy music videos and lit words on the screen. The lyrics, till today, speak of the script of my daydreams. But today, I simply get teased about that kind of music, that kind of lyrics. Sometimes not just teased, judged. I wish I were in a Parisian cafe people-watching. That way, I don't get judged but rather be the judge.

I don't expect anyone to understand these ramblings; there is no need to understand a person like he/she was meant to be understood like a maths formulae. Or so I think.

The oldies keep playing as the rush of Apec volunteers whizz by. Soon, it will be once again my turn to be called into action. This whole week of Apec have been easier to bear only because of words. This week, words have been my panacea, my heterotopia.

I just wish to share Saturdays and words with someone that feels right with, you know? I guess I'll wait. Won't you wait with me?