What a week it has been.
I guess it is in trying times as these, that you re-visit the principles you hold onto, test them; fall back onto a faith that has too often collected dust; re-locate the strength of character you hope years of experience has built.
The show is far from over; at least I won't know where the end is until I have seen all of it. But when will I actually know that I have seen all of it? I guess that will remain a mystery, and am possibly glad it will be kept that way.
As I fight on to finish an essay that I actually enjoy, I will be heading into London for the weekend, yet again.
I met a friend in the library last evening, a friend who never fails each time we meet to do a soul-searching about my life. He always starts by asking "How are your studies?" "What have you bean up to?". Regular questions, really. But funny, when he asks them, I actually do a thorough soul-searching on the spot. Instant self-reflection. And I delivered an answer in a measured and comforting way; that whilst not all is perfect, at least I know I have the full grasps of the imperfections.
But its always a good time, to sit down and simply ask: how is my life right now? No harm asking innit?
Uncle T
14 Nov 2008
13 Nov 2008
i will always remember...merci beaucoup, ma chéri 3:39 pm
"Quasimodo:
Safe behind these windows and these parapets of stone
Gazing at the people down below me
All my life I watch them as I hide up here alone
Hungry for the histories they show me
All my life I memorize their faces
Knowing them as they will never know me
All my life I wonder how it feels to pass a day
Not above them
But part of them
And out there
Living in the sun
Give me one day out there
All I ask is one
To hold forever
Out there
Where they all live unaware
What I'd give
What I'd dare
Just to live one day out there
Out there among the millers and the weavers and their wives
Through the roofs and gables I can see them
Ev'ry day they shout and scold and go about their lives
Heedless of the gift it is to be them
If I was in their skin
I'd treasure ev'ry instant
Out there
Strolling by the Seine
Taste a morning out there
Like ordinary men
Who freely walk about there
Just one day and then
I swear I'll be content
With my share
Won't resent
Won't despair
Old and bent
I won't care
I'll have spent
One day
Out there..."
Uncle T
Safe behind these windows and these parapets of stone
Gazing at the people down below me
All my life I watch them as I hide up here alone
Hungry for the histories they show me
All my life I memorize their faces
Knowing them as they will never know me
All my life I wonder how it feels to pass a day
Not above them
But part of them
And out there
Living in the sun
Give me one day out there
All I ask is one
To hold forever
Out there
Where they all live unaware
What I'd give
What I'd dare
Just to live one day out there
Out there among the millers and the weavers and their wives
Through the roofs and gables I can see them
Ev'ry day they shout and scold and go about their lives
Heedless of the gift it is to be them
If I was in their skin
I'd treasure ev'ry instant
Out there
Strolling by the Seine
Taste a morning out there
Like ordinary men
Who freely walk about there
Just one day and then
I swear I'll be content
With my share
Won't resent
Won't despair
Old and bent
I won't care
I'll have spent
One day
Out there..."
Uncle T
12 Nov 2008
same, but different. 1:56 am
Same dinner as last night.
Alas, different rooM, different feeling.
Same dessert as last night.
First was sweet, second was bitter.
What a difference a day makes. One momentous blunder is all the difference.
Its been some time since I last got stabbed.
Uncle T
Alas, different rooM, different feeling.
Same dessert as last night.
First was sweet, second was bitter.
What a difference a day makes. One momentous blunder is all the difference.
Its been some time since I last got stabbed.
Uncle T
11 Nov 2008
savoir faire 9:41 pm
"savoir faire |ˌsavwär ˈfe(ə)r| (also savoir-faire)
noun
the ability to act or speak appropriately in social situations.
ORIGIN early 19th cent.: French, literally ‘know how`"
Uncle T
noun
the ability to act or speak appropriately in social situations.
ORIGIN early 19th cent.: French, literally ‘know how`"
Uncle T
And now, even that is gone. 8:28 pm
And now, even my one source of energy, vitality, youth, hope, is slowly flickering out.
I have just cracked the precious glass. I'm back to being uncle t.
Uncle T
I have just cracked the precious glass. I'm back to being uncle t.
Uncle T
The bird now strangled. 7:30 pm
Choked, choking.
Slapped.
Stabbed.
Slammed.
Stifled.
Strangled.
Stamped.
Choked, choking.
The bird that has gone out to seek his destiny, his freedom, is now choking from the string that was there all along. Pulled back, it must now decide.
Uncle T
Slapped.
Stabbed.
Slammed.
Stifled.
Strangled.
Stamped.
Choked, choking.
The bird that has gone out to seek his destiny, his freedom, is now choking from the string that was there all along. Pulled back, it must now decide.
Uncle T
Mind your Own Business, Boy. 7:24 pm
Mind your own business.
Does my life even concern you? Why should you care what happens in my life?
I treated you as a friend, hold you in high regard, but at every turn you disappoint. I ask myself why do I even consider your thoughts when you don't consider mine. Silly me. I always do this. Caring for people who don't bother. Silly me. Stupid me.
You think you are so great, so clever. You think you can beat any and every system. There is one system that you cannot beat; that is justice and your own conscience. You watch out. I don't need to deal you that vengeful blow boy. Your conscience will hunt you down in the end.
I've once been bitten. This time, I'm not going to just let you bite me. You will somehow know that I know and you will fear me. Somehow. But I won't need to deal that vengeful blow boy.
You conscience will hunt you down in the end. In the meanwhile, shut your mouth, and mind your own business, boy.
Uncle T
Does my life even concern you? Why should you care what happens in my life?
I treated you as a friend, hold you in high regard, but at every turn you disappoint. I ask myself why do I even consider your thoughts when you don't consider mine. Silly me. I always do this. Caring for people who don't bother. Silly me. Stupid me.
You think you are so great, so clever. You think you can beat any and every system. There is one system that you cannot beat; that is justice and your own conscience. You watch out. I don't need to deal you that vengeful blow boy. Your conscience will hunt you down in the end.
I've once been bitten. This time, I'm not going to just let you bite me. You will somehow know that I know and you will fear me. Somehow. But I won't need to deal that vengeful blow boy.
You conscience will hunt you down in the end. In the meanwhile, shut your mouth, and mind your own business, boy.
Uncle T
Dublin to London. 4:43 pm
Dublin to London,
Separated only by momentary stupor.
From nostalgic highs to
Pensive reality;
Dublin to London.
Dublin to London,
Separated by violent history,
From cold winds to
Chilly responsibilities;
Dublin to London.
Dublin to London,
With treasured memories.
Familiar joys echoing,
As sustenance for the road ahead;
Dublin to London.
In a London cafe,
With pensive rain and
Unhurried streets
As the stage for thoughtful sips;
In a London cafe.
In a London cafe,
With a dear old friend.
Listening to ponders and
Sharing wonders;
In a London cafe.
We continually seek,
But when do we know we've found?
The present paints a picture bleak,
Yet faith brings, hope abound.
"Confusion", ©2005-2008 ~lucibella
Is love and life as complex as it seems? Or is it we whom deem it so? Dismissing them too confusing makes it simpler for us to sweep it under. No?
Does believing in a God simplify it all? Or does it make it simper for us to push it up. No?
Sometimes you just want to throw down the awkward shackles and take the free-fall. And think us brave. No?
Sometimes we just stand by the riverside hesitating. Till the chance dries up and we can plunge no more. No?
Do you know my pain? Do you feel the same? Is this a song you'll sing with my guitar of thought, my melody of trepidation? No?
I will sleep it all away and the morning simply forgets the darkness of the unknown. It will all be better. No?
Uncle T
Separated only by momentary stupor.
From nostalgic highs to
Pensive reality;
Dublin to London.
Dublin to London,
Separated by violent history,
From cold winds to
Chilly responsibilities;
Dublin to London.
Dublin to London,
With treasured memories.
Familiar joys echoing,
As sustenance for the road ahead;
Dublin to London.
In a London cafe,
With pensive rain and
Unhurried streets
As the stage for thoughtful sips;
In a London cafe.
In a London cafe,
With a dear old friend.
Listening to ponders and
Sharing wonders;
In a London cafe.
We continually seek,
But when do we know we've found?
The present paints a picture bleak,
Yet faith brings, hope abound.
"Confusion", ©2005-2008 ~lucibellaIs love and life as complex as it seems? Or is it we whom deem it so? Dismissing them too confusing makes it simpler for us to sweep it under. No?
Does believing in a God simplify it all? Or does it make it simper for us to push it up. No?
Sometimes you just want to throw down the awkward shackles and take the free-fall. And think us brave. No?
Sometimes we just stand by the riverside hesitating. Till the chance dries up and we can plunge no more. No?
Do you know my pain? Do you feel the same? Is this a song you'll sing with my guitar of thought, my melody of trepidation? No?
I will sleep it all away and the morning simply forgets the darkness of the unknown. It will all be better. No?
Uncle T
9 Nov 2008
Dublin with the best bunch of full-of-shits 4:41 pm
Feet freezing, its a chilly Dublin morning. With the boys still asleep, I steal precious moments to think through a tiring yesterday.
We arrived at Dubling airport to a weather no different to the one we left behind in London; grey skies, cold, grey skies, cold. Yet one thing strikes me at the airport: for the first time, I'm seeing advertisements with the euro currency sign in English! Euro currency signs I often associate with French, German, Italian, Czech...but never English.
We were reeling from fatigue, but the company just made up for all that. We are friends that have known each other for 8 years. Familiar with our antics, frank, knowing each other's limits. The fatigue just allowed us to burst into bouts of uncontrollable laughter, of an impressive string of old old jokes and new old jokes. To others we were just a bunch of Chinese loons on the streets of Dublin; to me we were a bunch of friends blessed enough to be ourselves, with no care of reprimand or judgement. In fact, our judgements of each other was so set that no matter what we did, the judgement was constant. So we don't put up visages or pretence. That's what its like with old friends:
nicfoo will always be nicfoo. Lame, full of shit, emo, full of shit, always disturbing russ about hair, emo, passing on the passion, singing, lame, full of shit, irritating till you want to box him...
russ will always be russ. Lame, fuller of shit, forever wants to box nicfoo but loves him dearly, rubs off ian the way they did since their power struggle began since...forever, boasting about his hair...
ian, forever wanting to kill both nicfoo and russ, always the calm one, yet come night, he unleashes his retarded self and asks of himself: "where is all this (nonesense) coming from?"
Yes, you see we are a lovely bunch. For all the respectability of Dublin, it is not the most exciting city. Yet, the company has made this so far a trip worth remembering and telling the kids. Yesterday was a simple day: makan, Trinity College, saw Man U lose, makan, sleep, saw LIVERPOOL WIN, makan, sleep.
See how mundane activities turn into amazing with the right company. Here's to the best bunch of full-of-shits. The Carebears. The bunch that has gone through thick and thin for 8 years, and many more to come.
Uncle T
We arrived at Dubling airport to a weather no different to the one we left behind in London; grey skies, cold, grey skies, cold. Yet one thing strikes me at the airport: for the first time, I'm seeing advertisements with the euro currency sign in English! Euro currency signs I often associate with French, German, Italian, Czech...but never English.
We were reeling from fatigue, but the company just made up for all that. We are friends that have known each other for 8 years. Familiar with our antics, frank, knowing each other's limits. The fatigue just allowed us to burst into bouts of uncontrollable laughter, of an impressive string of old old jokes and new old jokes. To others we were just a bunch of Chinese loons on the streets of Dublin; to me we were a bunch of friends blessed enough to be ourselves, with no care of reprimand or judgement. In fact, our judgements of each other was so set that no matter what we did, the judgement was constant. So we don't put up visages or pretence. That's what its like with old friends:
nicfoo will always be nicfoo. Lame, full of shit, emo, full of shit, always disturbing russ about hair, emo, passing on the passion, singing, lame, full of shit, irritating till you want to box him...
russ will always be russ. Lame, fuller of shit, forever wants to box nicfoo but loves him dearly, rubs off ian the way they did since their power struggle began since...forever, boasting about his hair...
ian, forever wanting to kill both nicfoo and russ, always the calm one, yet come night, he unleashes his retarded self and asks of himself: "where is all this (nonesense) coming from?"
Yes, you see we are a lovely bunch. For all the respectability of Dublin, it is not the most exciting city. Yet, the company has made this so far a trip worth remembering and telling the kids. Yesterday was a simple day: makan, Trinity College, saw Man U lose, makan, sleep, saw LIVERPOOL WIN, makan, sleep.
See how mundane activities turn into amazing with the right company. Here's to the best bunch of full-of-shits. The Carebears. The bunch that has gone through thick and thin for 8 years, and many more to come.
Uncle T