i know what i must do. 11:44 pm

Living life with no regrets is tough. Even the best of us, I'm certain, allows tinges of regret to seep into our lives; regret for doing, or not doing, something. Regret is so powerful that it instills a fear; the fear that what we do or don't do will haunt us tomorrow.

I know what I must do to avoid regret, or its cousin guilt. I know exactly what I must do. Yet, identifying this goal and working towards it is often much like a groceries trip at Tesco; you go in with the single-mindedness to buy the washing detergent, but leave the supermarket with bags of groceries. You get distracted from your single-mindedness by the products and promotions. Sure you end up with the detergent in the end, but coupled also possibly with regret/guilt and lesser money to spend on other things. But I guess we are only human.


Just grabbing the detergent?
In my last 6 months of my university education, I know what my single goal is, my "detergent". I must not get distracted by the other temptations as I move towards it. Temptations come in the forms of new experiences, re-visiting old experiences, self-indulgence in frivolous questions, and many other things you can think of. But I must learn to shrug them off. No one said it was going to be easy, but I am not going to give up without a fight.

But would it also not be silly if I came across an exceptional promotion item, a once in a lifetime chance (say, to buy Ben & Jerry's at half price), and just give it up just because of my ardent single-mindedness? Well, I guess it is about a balance and discernment; to know what rare experiences I may have a last shot experiencing before heading back home I should not give up just because of my single purpose. I have to be discerning. Its not easy though. But where else better to learn than in university, when else better to learn than now?

The history worth caring about is the one we are writing today. Got that from Grey's Anatomy last evening. How true, isn't it? Possibly a colloquial form of carpe diem.

I know what I must do. I know what I must do to write a history today I won't regret tomorrow.

Come. Join me.

Uncle T

a part from the other side of the wall 6:53 am

Uncle T

little pieces build the wall 1:16 am

little pieces, little bits
build the wall.
they spring from nowhere;
some just appear,
some sneak back from
the past, some from
the closet where we chuck stuff we just don't want to see for the time being.

little pieces, little bits
build the wall.
those that appear in the
mornings seem exceptionally
cruel.

they build the barrier
to the constant peace
i seek.

i guess, no one said it was easy to find.
got to blast those little bits. zappppp!!

Uncle T

scent, and everything nice 11:53 pm

I was sitting there. I looked up and
Smiled. That scent; so sweet so
Alluring but where was it
Coming from? Argh! I cannot seem
To find it.

I was sitting there. I looked up and
Smiled. The bittersweet of my
Latte was comforting. The relaxed
Beats of Buena Vista Social Club made me
Wish I was elsewhere, but that scent...
It was captivating, that sweet smell.

Alas! I found the source. I smiled.
It came from the
Soap I washed my hand with from the
Public toilet.

I was sitting there. I looked down and
Smiled

Uncle T

Over Iraq, in Seat 7K 2:34 am

I look out my window seat and see the streaks of white fluffy clouds frame a beautiful picture. The white and brown peaks of Iraq stand majestically, as the orange sunlight somehow finds arbitrary spots to illuminate this breathtaking view. This is an Iraq so different from the one I see on TV. We just flew past Baghdad; no turmoil like on TV, just unimposing majesty from up here, flying pass Kirkuk, towards Diyarbakir, at 538km/h, 12 192m above ground. Strange places, but there they are, just below me. 5 h 23 min before arriving at Birmingham International Airport.

I'm in seat 7K.

Uncle T