Random Clouds 10:07 pm

I have not been updating my blog. Of late too, questions about people and social circles have cropped up. What is my blog for? Who reads?


Anyhow, watched Coventry v. West Ham, my 3rd football game in this country :) Sadly, Coventry lost. That very night, I was moved by blind loyalty to cheer the side that obviously played better but lost, in my view, from the lack of the touch of quality.


I'm diseased. With a seemingly drawn out and nagging nigbigzitthwart that makes me ineffective, scared of facing reality and inefficient. Its making me ask silly questions too. I need to refocus, and re-centre. Its just that the core is currently a vacuum.





Uncle T

Description, no prescription. 6:45 pm

A unified, universal perversity,
Where social morality echoes through the
Empty chasm of mortal existence.

What fills it is that perversity;
The one we shun and denounce,
But which is closest to our tarnished souls.
Desire, lust, greed, fear, impatience, betrayal,
All which the religious is quickest to admonish.
Yet, the halo is often a social accessory
That is quick to come off in the confines of solitude;
Is it not easy to forget He/She is there.

O peversity that cankers.
Who to blame for it? The Fall?
Cannot be us, can it?
I want to banish it,
Yet it is I who willingly latches it onto my existence.
It hurts greatly trying to remove its tenticles.

Uncle T

How is it like to be a potato? 8:27 pm

How is it like to be a potato?
With people, cooperations and schoolkids alike, wanting you so bad?
With mothers enticing children to swallow greens with your presence?
With being confused for being a green when you're not?
When you wield the power to pump the tyre around the girth?
When you, after being processed thoroughly, are my favourite unhealthy snack?
How is it like, Potato, being so renowned?

Or should I even be asking you that?
When you are grown in one place, but harvested by people from the South?
When cooperations process you being your intrinsic self?
Should I ask Chemicals and Salt as they perhaps are the cosmetics of your barren self?
Or should the packaging which you are in after being pulped into chips?



Uncle T

My Own Blockbuster 6:50 pm

I don't reckon that it will be considered an epic. Ever.

Yet, it had it poignant moments, and moments which I hope will stay in that portion of my grey matter which governs my daily life, my daily choices.

As I sat in the cinema seat expecting a family comedy, there were two episodes in the movie that moved me:

1. When you pray for courage, does God give you courage? When you pray to bring your family closer, does he make your family closer, or does he give you the opportunity to love them more?

2. To change the world, you can't really do it in a single act, but by cumulating small "Acts of Random Kindness", you possibly can.

Funny to make a reference to Mother Teresa and a Hollywood flick in the same breadth, but the former's personal letters have recently been published, revealing that Mother Teresa indeed suffered till her very last breathe the torment of knowing God being there yet not feeling His presence, does tie in with the second episode of the movie that I found moving.

Very often, especially being fresh out of teens, it tends to get easily cynical and jaded, and things like "change the world" and "world peace" tends to snugly belong to the bosoms of Miss Universe candidates. But the movie reminded me that "to know that one life has breathed because you lived, this is to have succeeded" (R.W.Emerson), and I don't need to be the President of the US (okay fine, bad choice of benchmark) to benchmark world-changing success.

How often do we complain, us with religions, that the Divine does not answer our prayers, or so we think. I think He answers our prayers with many opportunities that are carefully hidden in the little crevices of daily life, however routine however extraordinary, and that episode in the movie thoroughly reminded me of that, enough for me to blog after so long.

It does not need to be an epic, a blockbuster by capitalist standards (box office sales), but simply that those episodes in the movie spoke to me, it is my blockbuster. The cynic may say those are carefully crafted moments in order to win over your epiphany-tear-jerking points. I say that through the script writers, the director, the actors and even the script itself, those episodes were indeed those crevices in life that we often miss that contains so much inight into life; my life in this case.

Morsels that turns into a banquet. 5 loaves and 2 fishes, for the 5000.

Its my blockbuster. Do you have one? Look beyond the popcorns perhaps the next time you pay your $7/$9.50. You may just find yours.

Uncle T

Youth Bulge Theory 2:05 pm

I stumbled upon an article today that gave an alternative perspective on the war in Afghanistan, using youth-bulge theories and demographics as a source of wars and violence in general. The article can be found at: http://opendemocracy.com/conflicts/democracy_terror/islamism_war_demographics_rage

It is not scriptures from holy books or poverty that drives the conflict in Afghanistan, the article says. Rather, it is the "youth bulge" that spurs this violence. In fact, poverty alleviation actually can actually fuel the violence, given the youth bulge condition present.

To better understand how poverty alleviation with the youth buldge condition actually fuels violence is to first understand youth bulge. Youth bulge theory posits that, based on the study of history, shows clearly that when 30% or more of a nation's male inhabitants are in the 15-29 age bracket, the result is chaos, violence and upheaval. This creates a huge pool of economically superfluous young men who, because of humanitarian aid, are not in hunger, fed, but out of jobs. To get those limited positions in society, they will fight for it, and for fed and able-bodied men with no jobs, starting and sustaining fights on the basis for survival is not hard to fathom.

However, in order not to appear as cold-blooeded killers fighting for themselves, many of these men take lofty stand-points to come across as "honourable executioners" of the elites. Hence, because of this adament inclinations to use religious rhetoric as a cover of their cause, an appeal to rational interpretations of religious scriptures will hardly dent their violent "fanaticism".

Looking at Afghanistan's "reservoir" of fighters coming from its burgeoning young males, greatly outnumbers the number of soldiers NATO can put on the frontlines. While the article does not provide any solution, it leaves me guessing what kind of solutions the West and other policy-makers may put forth in light of this demographic-driven war.

Any solutions to suggest?

Uncle T

........... 12:18 am

Orders kopi peng and duck noodles...

It is about 2 weeks since I have arrived back home. Well, back to work tomorrow. You know your life needs a booster when work is like army; the only thing you look forward to the whole day is book-out. It has not reached that for me. Not yet. Not when its merely 2 weeks on the job. Wrong. Job connotes paid labour. Training, learning is the word.

And learn I do indeed. So much to learn, something new everyday so long as you keep your mind open, and ears willing, one will grow wiser with everyday that you're one day closer to your final bed.

Watched Harry Potter today; nothing life changing after all the cinematic magic; just that dull thud of reality that my life can never be like Harry Potter's no matter how much I will it. Often known as fiction. Pure fiction.

"Thoughts shape words, words shape actions, actions shape habits, habits shape character, character shape destinies." Such wise words He offers when I ask Him for guidance. And this came from an email floating around my inbox today. Listen, and you will here His voice. Clear out the scepticism and nurture faith. Only then will we start to His whispers that were all along there.

Uncle T

Aiyoh..... 2:08 am

Orders saturated fats and unhealthy sedatives and comfort chocolates and...

Boy do I need exercise. Must. Will have to do. When I have time. Depends on the weather. Oh well.

Its the penultimate paper tomorrow. Essentially 2 papers away for this chapter to come to a close. It has been harrowing, trying, educating, humbling (along with many other -ing words).

Its logic tomorrow. And floorball afterwards! That one I can't wait for.

What goes on in my head? How do I think? What helps me think? What impedes my thinking efficiency? Can my thinking capacity be altered, expanded or made deeper? Things that I will have to think about.

The western liberal project, since Enlightenment, has promoted individualism. Liberal economics thinks along self-interested rational indivduals. Yet, I can't do that. Other people's interest continually invade my decision-making. Perhaps its because of the culture/ environment I was raised in. Perhaps its just me.

Other countries have charged Singapore, more specifically the government, for being undemocratic, possibly charges of authoritarianism. The reason for concern in levelling such charges, I assume beyond the need to find some country's sovereignty and probe at it, is the resulting oppression of individual liberty of Singaporeans.

True, there may be laws that "fine" us regularly, with a death penalty that would send the Aussies hopping. Yet, one can look at it from the standpoint that these laws provide rules that we know will be observed by other members of society, and thus makes social decisions easier to make, hence making us "free-er" from the problems of being fearful of other members of society acting in ways we may not expect. Sure, this is just a generalisation.

But also, by building our non-dependency on the government for welfare, the laws may actually makes us "free-er" compared to many welfare states in the West, where taking welfare payouts may make the individual dependent on the state, and therefore less free, contrary to the Western-default rhetoric.

Oh well, just muses. I'm only starting to appreciate all that I'm studying after the exams. Ha. Like how Dragonball may perpetuate a western superiority (haha. Guofeng say one!): when you power-up, your hair turn yellow (yellow ppl where got yellow hair?)

Uncle T

Its finally starting 6:58 am

My first major exams in 3 years. Its finally here. Its starting. I wonder what I take along, what I leave behind...

Amen.

Uncle T

The Clock and the streams of consciousness 4:53 am

The clock sits squarely above the partition line on the wall. I have been noticing the clock for some time now; when I first saw it today it had the hour hand at 10, and now, its at 10 again. But I was sure it moved, or has it?

Surely it has. It was bright outside, noisy inside (the library). Now its bright inside, and quiet everywhere (except for 'Top Banana' going on in the distance at the Union). It is quiet enough for me to hear the exams looming round the corner shelf, awaiting to come and go.

A tad bit nostalgic, not homesick. Miss makans with Daddy, and driving along our roads. You know, I actually have not left campus grounds for...some time now. The beauty, or pathetic sad-state, of being on a self-contained campus. But the Tocil Woods, with the ducklings, gooslings, make up for this isolation.

Back to studying I guess. Can't wait to have the exams over; to head over to Berlin, Reims, Stratford and home. Yet, don't want it to come (the exams I mean) because I'm afraid I won't appreciate the exhilaration of post-exams well enough; the holidays will pass me by like a whiff, and soon I will be back at a desk, possibly slaving over the unfinished work of someone who has had authority to give me work to do, and thereby easing their own workload. Ambivalent, that's what Ian loves to say. Perhaps I'm not ambivalent, rather torn, having myself being at both the polarities.

Come what may, so they say (who's they? who's we?). I'm starting to appreciate my course at university much more. Think it will be an exciting academic year ahead. But what is still left begging is what I'll be doing beyond academics. Who knows?


Uncle T

An Inspiration 11:20 pm

es

My tutor, without the bow tie, David Miller.

Popper & Miller.

Sir Karl Popper.

The inductive reasoning we use everyday should be discarded. What we should adhere to, is not on the insistence of justification but rather the strength of falsification, if we should try even seek the truth of theories. That is Popper.





To begin with, we shouldn't even worry about which theories to choose from when dealing with the pragmatic problem of induction, for there is hardly any recourse to scientific theories to do practical things (eg. technology). Physics laws don't teach us how to build bridges, but rather tells us what not to do (falsifies) for the bridge to theoretically not crumble. It is not scientists but engineers, using their problem-solving ability, not scientific theories, that builds a bridge that stands. Therefore we don't need theories to take practical action. That is Miller.





Popper is an inspiring smart man, one whom my module currently covers. His clarity in thought and writing is terribly impressive. Miller is his protege, continuing his mentor's work in falsifiability, defending it vigorously, and a reputable name in academia. And he is my tutor.





I am blessed, to have such a learned tutor; one who does not 'know' what induction is. I wonder how life might change for me if I don't employ inductive reasoning.











Uncle T

Sigh..... 12:49 am

Just a couple of days back, I was elated when Guofeng told me my floorball stick arrived. Yes, the Floorball exco were very sweet and bought me a stick. Eternally grateful.

Since coming down with fever last week and missed training, I was looking forward to training today; a chance to relive the exhilaration playing the game and using my new stick.

After all the 'fiddling' with the stick in my room for the past couple of days, I headed down for training; and badly sprained my ankle during drills. I didn't even get to play games today; this time was a bad sprain.

What can I say. Can't even walk now. Hobbliing boy am I.

With a swollen ankle, hungry, but Louis Armstrong as company this evening, I'll try to ignore the throbbing and try write my essay. Can you imagine that, having a brand new module in my final term at school, impeding revision.

Oh boy. Jazz, in the bittersweet blues of life, is my best bet now.



Uncle T

Reuters-Thomson Merger 4:48 pm

- Canadian financial data provider Thomson buys out Reuters for $17b
- Creates worl'd biggest financial news & data firm, leapfrogging US-based Bloomberg
- Expected annual savings fr merger: $250m
- Thomson's interests: law, tax & scientific research
- Thomson, Reuters, BLoomberg: compete in "terminal" mkt: providing news & financial data to banks, traders & brokerages
- In Apr 2007: Bllomberg 33%, REuters 23%, Thomson 11%
- Thomson-Reuters to list in London & Toronoto
- EStimated revenue of $12b, having 49000 employees

- Reputation of Reuters at stack: known for its neutrality
- For 150years, Reuters has had reputation for independence, where no ind can own 15% or more of the company
- Thomson now owns 53%. Journalists unhappy.
- REuters general news may be sidelined for financial news
- REuters boss Tom Glover will head firm

Uncle T

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Uncle T

Final Night...finally 4:11 pm

It is finally the last night of our production "Endorian Dreams". I say 'finally' with a sigh of relief no doubt, but does not in any way connotate that I have long for it to end. In fact, it seems all too surreal that the family that I have been heading for the past 2 terms is slowly disappearing.

It has been a special experience producing this, with Prin, my wonderful family, with special mention going out to the secretary and treasurer, and not forgetting AL and Jasmin.

Yet, there is no time to get nostalgic. There is still much that lies ahead; examicitis, packing up, feeding Squirrel, King Lear, travelling, going home, readjusting to home... So much more. Eventuality just chugs on, regardless of your preparations.

But in the meanwhile, please let me bask in some smoke of reminiscence, some shades of nostalgia. Thank you Endora, thank you.

We had 5000 of these postcards across campus.

The Production Family that held the fort, with Jia Wei taking the photo. Silly boy.

Uncle T

Familiar feeling... 12:39 am

Its a familiar feeling. All too familiar. Yet different; foreign. Its the same tightening walls, but with new flowers beyond the window. Same routine of running towards the Cross when anxiety encircles, but something...something different.

The warm of teriyaki and egg sloshing in my mouth, the thought of Reims, Hunchback and his implications, tuna & croissant, ginger tea,Stratford and taste of treasured freedom all comfort me like water in hell's fires. All these candies cannot surpass the ultimate Peace that eminates from Him. These little sugar granules just lead me finally to the ultimate sweetness of His comfort.

Like jazz, in the bittersweet blues of life.

Uncle T