Painting my happy-hued morning.

Good morning.

I strangely look out my window and it seems the world was coloured yellow; the sun's rays are exceptionally yellow today, making the view from my Hurst window seem like a leaf out of an old yellowed book. Yet, its rather pretty.

Old indeed, because the past 3 weeks have not been the prettiest. Each day since that fateful Tuesday has had the potential for the issue to erupt in my face, and it faithfully has. So I've had enough. Unlike other circumstances, I cannot eliminate the issue on my own, so I have to deal with it; the uncontrollable is greater than the controllable. I just never expected my term to be like that.

©2006-2008 ~jb00bs

Coming back from Brooklyn, I brought back hope, ambition and the fighting spirit for a good term, a good year. Now, after events of That Tuesday, it may possibly be laying the way for a trying year. It would not be an issue at all if its issues regarding work; because no matter how big the problem is in that regard, you can attempt to solve it. But when it involves people, that's when it goes downhill from there.

what i would give to return to my favourite coffee place in park slope, brooklyn, new york.

I guess we pay a price for our past decisions, seems fair. But when I realise that the price I pay is bound to the actions of another, that the length and extent of my payment depends on another, that's where I suspect the cosmic fairness. But I cannot do anything about it.

Some problems are private ones, meant to be resolved by the involved parties. But good-intentioned help voluntarily comes one's way, which in general is appreciated. Yet once the help starts assuming that they play an integral and key role in a problem that they have limited knowledge of, and making conclusions and suggestions thereafter, I'm tempted to draw an analogy to how America walks into Iraq chivalrously thinking good intentions equips them with the power to "save Iraq". So it is good-intentioned help. But what this means now is that a once possible 2-dimensional private problem has now expanded to become a multi-person multi-dimensional problem. That means, to me, more headache.

All I wish for now, is to get my happy-hued mornings back. And turning in at night without the devils of self-pity, anger, regret running amock in my fatigued brain, weary heart.

Yet, through this trials, as like always, it washes clean the surface dirt and reveals the truest and purest form of many friendships, old and new. Through this difficult time, I've come to see better the sincerity and nature of the relationships around me. So I thank all those around me who have in some way helped. But I don't think these people read this page (save for that one i-hate-purple person. thank you). And Christmas arrived early by way of JiaWei's very very thoughtful (and expensive!) present. Thank you.

I guess that's the way it is no? There are many things beyond our control, and we realise that ever so acutely when shit happens. But I guess there is still things within my means. Well, perhaps I'll start colouring my window panes with happy-hues if I want my happy-hued mornings back.

Amen.

©2008 *m0thyyku

Uncle T