keeping vigil 7:47 am

A vigil is a period of purposeful sleeplessness, an occasion for devotional watching, or an observance. Tonight, we keep vigil as we enter Lent.

How often are we presented the opportunity to fully contemplate our being, our lives? This Lenten season of 40 days is my best time; to pull aware the costumes of confidence, facades of smiles and masks of self-righteousness, and examine myself, covered with the sores of pride, anger, jealousy...Perhaps it is the only time each year I am brave enough to do so.

I sit before Him, draped in guilt, of unworthiness. Yet, He still loves unconditionally. Caritas, the love and charity that is divine, one that is self-sacrificial and beyond mere inconsistencies of emotion. In my filth, I come before Him, begging for answers. Tonight, I reached into a basket of random quotes and verses. Be it called Luck or Providence, that arbitrary pick was the reassured answer I needed: "Give up worry- trust divine providence".

Tonight we keep watch. Tomorrow, we are reborn again in the hope of living a better life.

Uncle T

the weekend i smiled 9:20 am

mashed potatoes that took 1.5hours to make.


before: curry grilled cod with mashed potatoes with a vintage chardonnay
after: satisfied meal before heading for a dance performance

the smell striking the match, the initial thrill when the wick burns, the blowing out of the candle, the melting wax. my tiny comforts.

V-day | You don't always have to "sell-out" to the corporate world on this day. The day of teddy bears, mounting expectations, over-priced roses, nervous boyfriends, expensive meals. Have we all stopped dreaming, and are just blind followers to plans that others dictate for us?

A life of simple pleasures sometimes beats the fireworks of the drama of life.

visit to warwickshire.

thank you.

Uncle T

He chastised the the righteous Pharisees. They focused on the legal laws, the principles they thought by abiding pleased Him. They started loving the laws, and the thought of fulfilling them that they forgot about the One the laws sought to please.

Are we modern Pharisees? Imposing our righteous ways on others, turning our noses against others who do not follow our ways? Even towards our friends, do we judge as if we were sinless, as if we were Almighty?

I wish for no friend like this.

Uncle T

Economics of happiness and human adaptation 7:15 pm

Humans adapt to their lot over time. If last year was a bad economic year, and even the slightest improvement this year, would make people, on average, happier. But that happiness dissipates over time, that is, assuming everything else stays the same, our happiness gained from the improvement this year will lessen next year, and lessen by even more the following year and so forth.

A more pertinent illustration: couples are, on average, happiest in their first year of marriage, coming from unwedded to wedded. But the bliss of marriage dissipates with increased number of marriages. So the cliched honeymoon period is true. This is not the narrative of a soap opera; this is the academic field of the economics of happiness.

On a more positive note stemming from the same academic work, is that the misery of being thrown into prison also dissipates with time. This is because, according to theory, is that we humans adapt to our situations, good or bad, over time, on average. Time, then, does seemingly heals wounds, but also makes us take for granted the good things that happen.

I guess, in this light, perhaps we will know the world will bounce back after this economic crisis. But my greatest worry is that some might not even survive this crisis to see themselves bounce back.

Perhaps more on this later. Do you have any thoughts on the economics of happiness?




Uncle T

something we worked so hard for. it was amazing. thank you guys. 12:35 am

http://www.new.facebook.com/home.php#/video/video.php?v=1063800565291

Uncle T

Sidestepping purgatorial trials 8:31 pm

"She makes it look so easy, waltzing through the thick vegetation of crap that the harsh world grows. Her smile sidesteps purgatorial trials and right through the doors of celestial achievement. Simple. Too simple perhaps? Yet, he can't help but look on with respect, and smile, pondering about her path to greatness."



Uncle T

contemplative winter | gentlemanly snow 8:14 pm

kenilworth from cryfield | university of warwick | coventry

Uncle T

Whitescapes: aching for my wonderland 7:46 pm

I sit by my window, with my camera, as my friends throw snowballs at my windowpane. I'm safe. I smile.

I left home early this morning for the dance studio. As I stepped out, I was struck by a white blanket. A blanket that covered everything, There was no grass, no path, no shoe prints, just white. I smiled.

As the morning unfolded, many more awoke to whitescapes from their bedroom windows, and I'm sure, too, they smiled. A man falling of his bike, snowmen across what once were grass patches, snowball fights, slippery streets, cautious cars, unconcerned ducks wadding around...

Yet, there was a sadness that lingered. A quiet, subtle one that sat silently in the corner. Not upsetness but a sadness. A melancholy that freezes the heart; so frozen that the hand hurts when it beats the heart.

Wouldn't it be nice to have warm tea, toast, juice for breakfast in a warm kitchen, as you gaze out to the gentlemanly snowscape? I smile at the thought of someone in the empty chair next to me. But who?

Uncle T

untitled | Part 1.5 7:07 pm

He walked out into the snow, praying it would wash him clean. And yet, he comes back with slush and grime on his heavy boots.

Uncle T

"of grand gestures & truly loving" 6:58 pm

"Wake up. Smell the roses; they are decaying. Cankered by your ego, your petaled ideals are dying. You say you love her, but with your presence you trap her, torment her! You stain the white snow with your grand gestures, but the greatest act of love, you cannot do. You cannot let go. You have made her a prize, an objective, you cannot lose. Through this, you truly lose the passion and spirit of the one you so love. Dare to love her, dare to let her go. And perhaps only then will you get a true shot at loving, and being loved."
- a line from somewhere

Uncle T

a requiem... 9:00 am

my heart bleeds
for him.
i find no way of sending my
condolences, yet my eyes
cry for him, my heart
aches for him and
his loss. i want to be there.
for him.

may the Almighty carry
him and his family on
His Wings.

Amen. Amen.

sunset | hurst | university of warwick

Uncle T

Are the streets of New York still paved with gold? 8:52 pm

Economic jargon
A government earns its revenue annually from many means, mainly through taxes and fees collected, but also through returns on investments and other sources. They also spend annually, called government spending, on infrastructure, businesses and on other things that will look after the welfare of the people it governs. But when a country spends more than what it earns, this is called a budget deficit. To fund this deficit, to get money to spend beyond its means, a government has to borrow, and that is called public debt. It is called "public debt" because the public, the taxpayer, the yous and mes, have to pay for this spending.


The Great Deficit: is it fair to future generations?
In 1990, the annual deficit of America was at $220.4 billion. In just the first 3 months of 2009, the American government is expected to borrow already more than double that of $493 billion. I say again, that figure is for just the first 3 months of this year. With this deficit set to grow at ridiculous rates in the year to come, imagine the billions of snow-balled debt the American public has to pay in terms of debt through their taxes. Not just this generation, but the next, and the next.

To put it into perspective, this means that every baby born with an American citizenship will inherit a public debt, at least in this generation. Not accounting for private debt that families owe, mortgages and their own daily bills to pay.


Gold? Or fallen icons and burdens?
Is New York then still paved with gold, the way our forefathers thought it was? Today, I think, the streets of New York are paved with fallen corporate icons and the burdens of imprudence.

Uncle T

untitled -Part 1- 7:06 pm

He stood at the bend in the road, against the single lamppost. If you didn't pay attention, you might not even notice him. Cars taking might have slowed down if they noticed him, but they didn't. The odd passers-by walked past, realising he was there only after. He was waiting.

It was a cold night. The firm wind gave intent and direction to the snow flakes, making the tiny white specks cut through the air like a charging Roman cavalry. If you listened carefully, you could hear the trees groan like the falling soldiers under the Roman charge. Yet, he stood there, against the lamppost, waiting.

He looked up at the trampling hoofs of the snow. He looked down at his black coat, and saw it riddled with white bullet holes of snow. He did wonder if anyone noticed him, whether he would die there alone, how long he would wait. He was expecting the car to arrive 5 minutes ago.


Uncle T

is it possible? 1:04 am

is it possible?
to share a moment of impulse?
with no regrets, no what-ifs, no consequences
but embrace that moment of sweet memory, of youth?
is it possible?

i hope it is.

Uncle T

a little peek into the past: 42 Craven St 9:52 am

one of those rainy days at craven st



the most inspiring furniture in my room: books

the final destination of the daily walks home

what i would give to see these shoes again as i walk down the stairs in the mornings

truly, home away from home.

Uncle T