The night stage

Sometimes I really believe that a gung-ho spirit and enthusiasm is enough to get through life.

I did something new two nights ago; an endeavour I've never attempted. It was adventurous and gung-ho not in a Everest-conquering way, but in a fish-out-of-water kind of way. Leading up to it, I was quietly excited. Then the evening came.

We went out to ION Orchard, a new-ish shopping mall in Singapore, to do a fashion photoshoot.

It was like going onto a stage to perform a song. And you dont realise how inadequate you are until the houselights fall and the spotlight on you. And it is only then, when the glare of the attention fills your eyes that you realise you're not ready for this. Oh crap. And then you freeze, lyrics lost in your larynx, the melody dissolving in your diaphragm. Stage fright, some call it.

That was really how I felt that evening. For many times across what ought to have been a mini adventure to relish, I felt as naked and helpless as the stage-frightened musician. It was then that it hit me that being gung-ho about stuff, especially in artistic endeavours, is not enough. 'Go in and just whack' is what I thought was enough. Sure, we did prep work prior to that; found a model, browsed magazines, pseudo moodboards, recce trip, sewed up a dress for the evening, meetings...but all that was still not enough.

Photography, in this particular case fashion photography, is not an activity you just decide to do and taa-daa. It is a craft; one that requires patient diligence in both theory and practice, one which requires patience and commitment and where competence is often proportionate to dedication.

It is not the first time the concept of craft has come to me, yet it continually comes up each time I set myself to an artistic endeavour. Perhaps it keeps coming up because the concept of a craftsman is rather juxtaposed to what one may call artists today. Not just artists of the painting sort, but all other forms of artists modernity seems to have spurned. Perhaps its also the way artists of today tend to go with the notion of glamour and celebrity-status. So it is not surprising to me if I witness an 'artist' of today pursuing his artform for the sake of celebretism and not in the name of craftsmanship.

I'm conflating my thoughts into a mesh of words. I'm sitting on the floor at Dhoby Ghaut MRT Station still in my checked office shirt, with fingernails still smelling of the office keyboard. I should end here.

But I pray my learning of the craft doesn't.