The realm of the complex: Humans 7:05 pm

We have been there all this time. Did you not notice? You play beneath our shade; did you not look up at our foliage? Amidst our bosom you laughed; did you not realise that we cleansed your air?

Now, you suddenly notice us. You notice the cracks, the localised decay, the rare infestation at the roots. You walk up closer, and point that once-limp finger with accusations. You forgot about the green, you forgot about the shade. No. You never did notice it before. But you are good at pointing at the cracks and chinks, are you not?

But is that not the way of the human jungle? As much as we worked tirelessly, you would not notice. The good is dull, the bad is bright. As much as we feel dismayed at this sad reality, I realise that, possibly, that is the way it generally works around here. Yes, here in the human forest.

I guess I will continue to work at what I do. I know that I clean the air because I believe that clean air is better than unclean air; I provide shade because I believe that death by scorching is bad. Moral high ground you say. Well, at the very least, its a firm ground beneath me.

If you decide I am replaceable by an air-purifier, so let it be so. Ultimately, you are the one with the axe; I am the one made of wood.

"The Human Jungle" by ConfusedUncle
Uncle T

When the world sleeps... 11:34 am

Sun has not been very sympathetic as the new term began. The poor weather since school reopened seemed aligned with the ominous stars of a trying term ahead; the daffodils are crisping with Springs further progress, with dandelions usurping its former territories. Squirrels are reclaiming their lands, and so are the fresh leaves; no longer hidding in buds, flowers are bursting out everywhere; so are the bugs.

The birds are singing their regular songs, as First Light struggles past overnight overcast clouds, past creepers that are slowly regainig their green shade. I am about to head to bed.

The Wars begin. The greatest battle is set to be Within. Be prepared. To engage, to confront, to strategise, to be disciplined, to focus. Its survival.

"Makan boleh make aku life senang sedikit (broken Melayu)"- uncle t

Uncle T

Democracy... 9:34 am

Demoracy, hailed as the pinnacle to strive towards in the Western world. But is it a double-edged sword?



Uncle T

How Blessed We Are... 9:28 am

How blessed we are...

to go through shit times to know better times,
to have friends there even when you don't think you need them,
to take for granted the present that in the past you would have died for,
to have the prospects ahead that others may not,
to have friends to comfort and in so doing find solutions for yourself,
to have what you have and don't even think twice of having,
to have moments of solitude that you thought lonely but became breeding grounds for wisdom,
to be even here, alive today, with many bombed innocently elsewhere,
to have come so far today, with what you had,
to have had nothing more, nothing less,
to be simply you. to be simply, me.

Say that little thanks today. To Him, to you, to them.
Say it, before it gets too hard to say.

"Who you are today, is God's gift to you. Who you become, is your gift to God", as a wise friend once said

Thank you.

Uncle T

Chugging Along 6:33 am

Army did take some sting out of the bite; some wheel out of the car. There has that initial inertia to overcome, one that takes not only will, but simply, time. Yet, Time is less kind than it wants to. It cannot wait. So you are caught. But if you don't wriggle free, you are naught. One never takes in enough of the present. Beauty seems to come alive more vivid in memories. But by then, regret and guilt birth into nostalgia and longing. Longing for what we have now. Back to work. On the lonely country road. No one. Wait...there! The squirrel, full of life, escaping the jealous attacks of the magpie. Embodies vitality, life, that squirrel. But wait...it doesn't care about you. It has its own nuts to seek. You have yours too. So its still lonely, that road. But wherefore will it lead? Or do you decide?
Uncle T

Its here. Can't run! 9:57 pm

I got hit right in the face.

It flew right into my pimply crevices. And others of its kind did the same. The bugs are here. So are the woodpeckers; I have a love-hate relation with one just outside my window which has a go at my tree. The sun, despite a hide-and-seek with the clouds (can't expect perfection here in the UK), is still a warm welcome. The squirrels are out once more. So are the magpies, in groups.

I found campus to be really quiet, picturesque even. Doing my jogs on the same country road, seeing flowers clammer out of the ground, tranquil. Then I realised why it has been so quiet this Easter break; I trooped to the library today, and there was the Warwick students, studying!! Doesn't help when I'm trying to cover my syllabus for the finals.

PPE is cool. But that means literally taking 4 subjects: Philosophy, Politics, Economics, Maths. Make that 5. Since I'm atrocious at Logic, that's a subject on its own.

Man. So much for beautiful Spring.

Uncle T

First Barcelona... 4:27 am

At our wonderfully-located accomodation. Splendid.

Park Guell

The goddess who kept following us in posters across Barcelona. I mean Ian's goddess.

Gaudi's intimacy with nature's outlines.

Sagrada Familia. Let's hope its completed soon; a masterpiece.

Yes, the start of my holiday-cellulite programme.

A site not common in the English Midlands.

The man who encouraged my cellulite programme throughout the trip.

The man again, with me, at the biggest stadium in Europe, Nou Camp.

Indeed, this is way overdue. I have already been back from my trip to, first Barcelona, then Rome, with Ian, for about 5 days now. I needed some time to ask myself what did the trip mean to me. It is so easy to let the box-ticking sightseeing and photo-whoring be definitive of the trip. Now, too, that Easter is here, the angst of the pregnant wait for Easter to arrive is now gone, along with my unfulfilled Lenten promises (what's new).

But despite failed promises (very much reminiscent of every New Year resolution I make), the prelude to Easter was very much fulfiling, and in large part due to this trip that which I was graced by Ian's splendid company.

Barcelona.
Barcelona was Gaudi. For me, Gaudi very much typified my trip to the Catalan capital. (Do check it out. If you didn't already know, Barcelona, despite not being Spain's capital, is the capital of the autonomous state of Catalonia, a state within the Spanish state). Cities speak differently to different people. If we listen, cities do speak. For me, it was Gaudi, for others it may be SanGria, or Nou Camp.

Gaudi's adherence and inspiration from nature was inspiring and captivation His intimacy with nature would make any partner jealous. His daring art breaking conventions of his time, is not that foreign in the spirit of the Barcelona people. The city's peoples came across as flamboyant, fun-loving and being daring to try. The Spanish knew how to enjoy. I thought I could hear that in their music as well. Ian and I attended two music events there in the Catalan city, one of jazz in a historic jazz club, and the other of Spanish guitar, in a basilica.

Gaudi's Sagrada Familia captivated both our attention. It was nice to understand the biblical references made in the sculptures and facade. Not just in the unfinished masterpiece, but also in the other churches that Ian and I visited, popular or not. Ian and I are sincerely hoping to see the Sagrada Familia completed in our lifetime. We will be back for Barcelona, then. Especially also disappointingly not getting to visit the Sagrad Cor.

Barcelona was also where the pilgrimage started. For me, after being privileged to have seen a number of beautiful churches in both the cities of London and Paris, I sometimes wonder what to think, or feel, or do when I enter these ancient structures. To some of my friends, it is yet another ancient building, feeling the brunt of time on its facades, and have its insides shaken by the din of tourists and their accompanying photo-flashes. I, too, am guilty of such undertakings. But these are my Father's house. What am I to do then? I didn't know. I still don't. The best thing I can do is to kneel and pray in each church that I walk into. On my knees.

Rome in the next entry.

Uncle T

Crash of Civilisations? 3:52 am

Crash of Civilisations?

Just watched "Crash". In the dim solitude of a late spring sunset, in my kitchen. My abandoned chips, thai chilli sauce and I, sitting in a room that was growing dark. Watching the movie frightened me. It got chilly. I close the window.

Is there really a racist in everyone of us? At best, do we try not to be racist? Is affirmative action a mere counter-force that the world manifests from the guilt of deep-seated racism? I don't know. Do we, really? Is a claim: "I'm not racist" a true one? I don't know.

It is frightening, because, possibly, no matter how hard we try, we can never not be racist. Deep down, we all see colour. Those of us with the gift of sight see colours. Give us all a few more pints of beer, and, possibly, true racial lines will be clearly illustrated, normally held suppressed by education, guilt, moral norms, societal chides, indoctrinated decorum...I don't know.

It is because I don't know that I am frightened. Aren't you? To wake up and find that you're one of those whom you've condemned all your life? Watch "Crash".
Uncle T

Joke of the Day! 4:29 pm

Orders mee rebus with English tea...

Joke of the day!
Bush says: US care for the "human condition" and its "quiet, effective diplomacy".

Attended the U8 Summit here in Warwick yesterday. Absolutely amazing, discussing if developing countries do have in the policy-making process that affects them. I also hosted a delegate, and it turned out that I ended up hosting one of its 2005 founders.

I see U8 as a tentative platform for furthering some of my work and interests. And hopefully my conduit to meeting some of the developmental bigwigs. Mr Stiglitz and Mr Ha-Joon Chang, here I come! Let's have coffee sometime.

Uncle T

Illness, the sedative we need from the humdrum 9:45 pm

Fell ill after doing an all-nighter for my politics essay, which was due in on Friday. As mentioned, it was on a topic of my personal interest, that of ASEAN. As mentioned, one realises how interesting your own neighbourhood is after leaving it.

Went on down to Bath on Saturday, still nursing that awful flu, and attending SoulAsia Food Festival on both weekend nights. Singsoc sold excellent curry chicken, mee chaim kuay, Milo Dinosaur, pineapple tarts and kaya toast on Sunday. :)

Overall, the company I had over the weekend was excellent. It really was. I would even go as far to say that the trip to Stonehenge (yes, I was up close with 5000 years of history!) and Bath was made memorable more of the company than of the places themselves.

But having fallen ill, other than irritatingly slowing me down, has had its up sides. Ever since falling ill, and also possibly due to the romantic notion of the advent of spring, along with it being Lent, I've gotten more contemplative. This physical slowing down, as given me more time to think and reflect on what the hell am I running on the mill for. This comes timely, after hearing what Ben had to say about this insatiable appetite we all have to outdo each other. The focus becomes on others, then on ourselves. WOuld we go as far as saying this is a rather Asian perspective to life? A competition? I won't dare hazard an answer, really.

But, for me, this illness has definitely helped me put things into perspectives, calmed my nerves and slowly help me regain the focus on my centre.

And its off to floorball now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uncle T

Chinese New Year in Birmingham 9:57 pm

Mic croonin'...Dang, didn't catch Sumit AFTER.

Shuki courteously ensuring that Bryan's wishes of "kuai kuai zhang gao" came true. (ps. Shuks is way taller than I. Most things are)

Mars singing, I playing. Melayu some more!

Delene: Summer dress in winter. Ha.

And the peeps who made it all possible. Singsoc exec :)

Uncle T

I like the daffodils... 9:01 pm

Just look at my artistic photography. I should turn pro :)




The English sky, daffodils and a Chinois

Lovely crocus at Lakeside on campus. Love them.

Dr Gabby and I when his team came from London to play floorball.

Warwick teamtalk as we battled Imperial at floorball

As that one world leader picks up the environmental flag and waves it frantically to attempt to leave a legacy as he leaves office, headlines scream about environmental politics. We are getting warmer, so is this winter, so said BBC this morning, from the black box, which was on the crumbed table, in my flat kitchen.

But I'm enjoying the nicer side of the warmer winter; squishing about in winter's remains, amongst the daffodils, crocus and finches that are returning to their element.

Remeber that tree outside my room window? Its still there, standing. Once a low-branched, sturdy tree that was emerald-crowned, was battered during harsh winter nights, was tugged at by drunkards at silly hours, stood majestically bald during beautiful snow-fall, it is now slowly coming back to life. Still standing. What resilience.

I'll really be getting back to my World Politics essay. Its an interesting topic, at least for an unbecoming nerd that I am. ASEAN, the neighbourhood that we all lived in and never knew. Join me? Get to know ASEAN better. We only see its beauty after we've seen it from the outside.

Sumit made me feel real guilty. I'm such a poor Liverpool fan. I feel bad, cause its true. I'll have to be a better Scouser (see? I don't even know how to spell it la!).

85!!!!!! Whee! SHould have gotten 90. -_-

Uncle T

Orders kebabs. Yup, kebabs...

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,

where there is hatred, let me sow love...

...Grant that I may not

so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood as to understand;

to be loved as to love.

Listening. One of the most difficult to do. Something we all take for granted in the noise fuzz of materialism and bass&drums of consumerism.

Listening. One of the most difficult to do. Especially in the deafening roar of our ego.

What am I doing about being a PPE student? I'm just merely a student taking 3 seperate majors. What does PPE hold for me, for the 60-odd of us? Let's hope more than what is.

Uncle T

Orders roti prata with coconut milk gravy, mua chi and heh bi hiam noodles...

I cannot say that life has been unkind; things have been coming along well, to be honest. True, essays and logic homework just keep streaming in ceaselessly no doubt, but it is all well-fulfilling. The more essays due, the more occasion to celebrate.

One of life's hardest lessons is learning patience for success.

Since my Paris trip last weekend (yeah, have to talk about that in another entry, with photos), we have had Chinese New Year go by, along with the Singsoc's belated Reunion dinner just couple of nights back in Birmingham. I was pleasantly surprised at the excellent turn-out and enthusiastic response, which made it a good evening.

Over the weekend, we also had some friends from down south Imperial College, to play floorball with the young Warwick team started by Singaporeans. It was an extremely competitive match, but we all had our fun. Floorball is one helluva game. I still cannot believe it I'm here, 13 hours away from home, playing so much more sports than I did back home, more liberty to make choices of my own; in fact, that which I deem the hardest part about being away: making choices and living with their consequences. That's life.

We, the production team of the play Singsoc is co-sponsoring "Endorian Dreams", just had a fulfilling meeting cum dinner this evening. It is always a pleasure to lead a team of dedicated members who are each leaders in their own rights.

Sia la, miss makan back home, miss the ang bao collections, the walks with the beloved along Esplanade, the mat rocks... The Malaysians are a way cool bunch, I'm starting to realise. :) Will start playing more badminton with them from now on.

Sigh...if only I can have more time to reading "The Economist", the interesting article on the cognitive and emotive mood of music and the library book that I renewed 9 times and still have yet to complete.

The seasons go by so quickly. One moment the squirrels were hibernating, the next I know they are scampering across that faithful window of mine. Spring is fast approaching. So are exams. So is the time to return home. But do I really need to go back to Singapore to be home?

Its Lent you know? It's so important, Lent. That gradual build-up towards the climatic Easter, which has been blessed for me and my family the past two years.

As yet another essay beckons, this time on ASEAN, and more logic to peel down my cranium walls -∃x (Cube(x) → Between(x, a, b))-, I'm turning in to yet another new Lenten day, a new Warwick week, a new experience that I lay claim on.

quote of the day: "to build up a store of good habits"

Uncle T

Rugby a day... 11:45 pm

After spending the night at Jia Wei's, we headed down to the Tocil mudpool. Together with the other 3 Tocil boys, we headed into the mudbath to play touch rugby. Safe for JW, the rest of us were from the winning Singapore team in One World Week Touch. We were the champions, on the same field.

Despite just a 5-man game of touch and lots of slips and mud, I enjoyed it tremendously. Just good, dirty fun on a beautiful Sunday morning. It is indeed a wonderful day.

Nope, no intellect being pumped in today, just rugby. Currently watching France and Ireland in the 6-Nations. And guess what? I'm going to watch the Rugby World Cup 2007!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yup, catching the quarter finals in Cardiff. Hopefully the All Blacks will be in that, but this rare opportunity didn't come cheap, trust me.

Anyhow, its just rugby today, planning for Europe trips ahead, and a small start to an attempt to make intellectual headway in reading week.

It is a wonderful day today.

Uncle T